I had such a nice post in mind about things I learned from Scooter, but then I received this comment:
From reading her blog, it does seem that she thinks every foster child will become legally free and hers. Its not like that. Her job as a foster parent is not to become their new mommy, but to act as a safe, caring place, until the child can return home.
I appreciate the well meaning honesty, but let me defend myself.
No, I do not think that every child will become freed for adoption and mine, but I do hope to build my family through adoption through foster care. I left out many details of Scooter's case that I learned from the caseworker which led me to believe he would be in foster care long term and that the dad was not expected to pass his homestudy.
Anyway, yesterday Scooter went home, with nothing completed that was ordered at the last court hearing. His attorney did not show up. If they were not gonna make him complete what was ordered by the court, why did they keep him in care a month rather than simply signing over custody at the 72 hour hearing. It was wrong to the child!
Since I got Scooter, I prayed that he quickly be placed in a permanent home that would be in HIS best interest. If he was going home, I supported that, but I wanted it done quickly for his sake.
I was happy for him. I put aside my own sadness until his dad came collected his things and took him home. I said goodbye with a smile, and I really didn't cry much. I did feel a since of peace, like God was assuring me he would be happy and safe, and I care about Scooter, and that's all I wanted, was his happiness.
I'm tired of everyone telling me that I knew what I was getting into and knew it was temporary and that I should be happy for the child rather than sad. I am both. I am happy Scooter got to go home, but does that mean I have no right to grieve for my loss, for a day or two, after a child I loved and cared for left my care? Oh, right, it's not MY child, so I can't lose what never was mine to begin for?
My explanation may not be acceptable to some foster parents, but I know my heart, and I wanted what was best for him. I am not upset or mad that he went home, nor am I questioning the judge's ruling, I am simply grieving briefly for my loss, moving on and praying for Scooter's happiness.
Please be respectful to my commenter who wrote this. I don't want any disrespect shown towards her, I just wanted to explain myself. I hope to adopt, but I am educated enough to know that every child will not be freed for adoption.