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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Tuesday, February 04, 2014

My little angel

Well, It's February again,worst time in my life 7 years ago. I have been trying to keep myself distracted, but it's still a bad time. Losing my daughter has changed me and I will never be that person I was before. With time, I am better able to cope but the pain doesn't go away. I wish I would have made the most of those last hours with her. To say we had a really rough night with her the night before is an understatement. She cried, and cried, and cried all night long. We were exhausted and as I dropped her off at daycare(still cranky), I got to work and wondered how we were going to get through this with her. I really try not to blame myself when I know I was not the one who made bad choices while pregnant with her, but I wonder if she was trying to tell us something. I just assumed she was still withdrawing, and I know bringing her to the ER for excessive crying probably wouldn't have helped, but I hated that our last bit of time with her was rough. Never did I realize when I dropped her off that would be the last time I held her alive. There was so much I wanted to say tonight, but as I sit here writing, I just can't find the words except I love and miss her so much.

3 Comments:

  • At 8:18 AM, Blogger Amanda said…

    Oh, Lisa. Don't blame yourself. You gave her so much and the fact that you're still mourning her after 7 years shows how very much you loved her. Hugs tot you, my friend.

     
  • At 1:47 PM, Blogger mommiebear2 said…

    Thinking of you!

     
  • At 12:15 AM, Blogger JUST A MOM said…

    hey someone still blogs,,,, you have been blessed big time my dear even on short runs. HUGS just stoppin in see ya on fb.

     

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