Baby on the way
Things have not changed. Her mental ability remains the same. She does not know she can't take care of a baby. She still believes Smiley can eat things such as french fries when he cannot chew. She also minimizes his medical needs and developmental delays. She believes he will grow out of his disabilities. While all mothers hope for the best, she actually believes all his needs will disappear.
Anyway, what I was getting at was open adoption.
1. How do you feel about an open adoption when parental rights are terminated against mom's wishes(assuming mom poses no danger to the child)?
2. How do you feel about an open adoption when it is a child like Smiley, who does not understand, and may never understand that he has a different mommy that gave birth to him? In other words, should you make an effort at an open adoption for only bio mom's benefit?
3. What about bioligical siblings? Is it better for them to see their sibling once in a while, and miss him most of the time, or a clean break?
I guess what I'm saying is If I'm going to accept this placement, I need to find a good balance between allowing mom some access to her child, but keeping as little confusion for the child as possible. I just feel it would be wrong to completely cut her off after adopting two of her children, but I want them to have as much of a normal life as possible. Smiley doesn't know what's going on, but how would it affect a child who did know what was going on? How would I explain that they cannot stay at her house alone(although she won't hurt them, she's not competent enough to care for them)?
What amount of visits sound reasonable? Smiley usually visits a few times around the holidays, then we usually take a break for a few months, then once every few months.
I just want to do the right thing if I am placed with her new baby.