No Girls

The judge decided to keep the girls with grandma. Phew! I was taking a leap of faith saying yes, and am somewhat relieved. Our worker does know a family who wants them because they don't think grandma will pass the homestudy.

Now we're back to just Smiley and Princess.

4 Kids?

Baby D's worker is begging us to take a sibling set of 2 girls, 4 and 2. I told L for us to consider it, she'd have to ok it with our home development worker, Princess's worker and adoption, and I'd need IMMEDIATE daycare vouchers for all 4 children.

I told L if he let me stay home, I'd say yes in a heartbeat. If the sibling set were boy and girl, we may could get away with it putting 2 of the same sex in each extra room, but with 3 girls and 1 boy, I'm not sure it would work.

I told L whatever happened, they must not give me trouble about adopting Princess and Smiley if they become available.

Not sure our home development worker will allow it. She's good with us, but will probably say we are nuts!

If we were crazy enough to take all the kids, this is what our household would consist of:
girl - 4 yrs
girl - 2 yrs
boy - 13 mos
girl - 2 mos

Why Can't They Just be Happy for Us?

Ok, I know my sister occasionally reads my blog, and my mom has been there once. I warned both of them that my knowing they may read would not hold me back from writing about them if I had something I needed to get out. I told my sister, "I'm giving you the address, but if you piss me off, I will blog about it." My sister is not who I'm refering to here. If you're a relative and continue reading, it's at your own risk because I have to get this out.

I'm tired of all the well-meaning advice from a couple people in my family, and my family are generally more supportive of the foster adopt situation than L's. I mean no disrespect to them and I know their advice is out of concern, but I know what I'm getting into. I'm tired of hearing the following:

"Are you sure you're ready to take another one, what about Smiley?"

"Do you know if she's gonna be healthy? What if she has problems? Are you sure a relative won't take her away?"

"You really need to focus on Smiley. He has a lot of catching up to do."

As you can see, this is questions of genuine concern, but they are hurtful too. It hurts me to hear that they would even imagine me neglecting Smiley to care for Princess. I don' t know the answers to all the health questions and the doctors won't know this young either. It's called having a prayer answered and taking a leap of faith and trusting in God.

Suppose I gave birth to Smiley, then popped up pregnant again a couple months later. None of you would tell a friend who got pregnant quickly after her first child any of this advice. Think for a minute about whether you'd ask these questions to a pregnant friend....OF COURSE NOT!! That would almost be like suggesting they have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption so they can focus on their firstborn child. Insane isn't it.

Since I am adopting, why am I being asked these questions. I know it's because I can choose to leave Princess in the hospital with nobody. I don' t look at it as a choice, though it is, and I choose to take the baby. Who am I to pray and pray for a mostly healthy newborn baby girl, then turn her down because my kids will be close in age? Why can' t I just get a "congrats" like they pregnant woman.

Oh, to show you that I do know my limits with children. We were left a message to call a caseworker about 2 girls they needed a home for. We had to say no, of course, mainly because there simply wouldn't be enough days in the month to get everyone to court dates, visits and doctor appointments. I know after taking Princess, it will be all we can handle for a while until they grow up. I don' t have the space for 4 anyway. After Princess, we can a slot for either one boy or one girl, due to room sharing rules.

Princess is Perfect!

We went to see Princess yesterday. I spoke to the nurse and she explained how they fixed her minor heart condition. I don' t know the medical name, but she said something about opening up a vein or artery or something and she may need one more small surgery, but no significant health problems. We are not sure what effects the cocaine exposure will have but we will pray for the best.

We agreed to take her. She was hooked up with a breathing tube and wires just getting out of surgery so I could not hold her yet. She should get the tube out in the next day or two, then stay in the ICU a couple days, be moved to a room a couple days, and hopefully be released in a couple weeks.

I'm trying to think of a way to sweet talk L into riding with me back to the hospital today. It is very difficult to find and not in the best area so I can't go alone. Anyway, I need someone else there to wait outside with Smiley cause his big mouth can't go in the ICU! If not, we will ride up there Wednesday night after work. I hate that the hospital is so far. I didn't want to leave her, but Smiley was being fussy so we couldn't stay long.

I will be calling Princess's caseworker Monday with an official yes. I do have pics, but you will have to email me.

Visitation Clearance Granted

We got a call from Princess's caseworker. We now have permission to visit her at the hospital!! Please send prayers that she is a match for our family in terms of medical needs.

One problem..L is tied up tomorrow and I'm not comfortable driving to or finding this hospital, so may have to wait til Sunday.

Foster parenting can be so exciting sometimes!

Good News and Bad News

The good news...we have a TPR date for baby N. We get to attend the hearing(should we?) and the last visit can be right after.

Bad news..it isn't until May!

I praise God anyway, because at least we finally have a date. The supervisor doesn't remember the exact date, but I better not post it anyway, just to be safe. Please pray for immediate TPR on that day.

By the end of next year I could be a mommy to my own son!

I still need an internet nickname for baby N, so please help me think of one.

Princess it is for the baby girl if we are able to take her.

Unprepared

Our worker called L yesterday. Apparantly, there had been a lot of complaints after the hearing on Tuesday. The judge was pissed because the state was not prepared, and sent most of the kids back home that day. Scooter's attorney did not show up and no one from the state spoke on his behalf.

Now don't get me wrong, Scooter seemed to have a safe, loving home to go to, but what about the other children. I am now extremely worried for baby N. Unlike Scooter, baby N's mom is not capable of caring for him, and returning home what put him in serious harm. Baby N's FTC is today and I told L to make sure they would have someone speaking for him at court. I wish I could go, but I already missed Tuesday for court.

Ok, on to the potential new placement. Yes, I am assuming she will be freed for adoption because her caseworker said she was a poor prognosis case, which is like baby N's case, where they are pretty sure, due to the circumstances, that the child will not return home.

She has to have a few heart surgeries, but I do not think her health conditions were as serious as baby D. Both parents are in jail, so we were told there would be no visits. She was born addicted to crack/cocaine. Poor lil' one. Why must babies be put through this?

If we take her, and she becomes freed for adoption, I will probably change her name, so let's have a little fun and tell me your favorite girl names. Here's mine, but don't laugh ok? I like the princess type names:

Arabella
Ariel
Isabelle
Tabitha

Darn, I'm drawing a blank now. Next, I need an internet name for her, and while you're at it, let's name baby N too. I hate to call him baby N forever, cause he will not be a baby forever.