I Still Haven't Learned

Well, it looks like we're not getting the baby. I know...big surprise there!

L calls the baby's worker and she says she'll put his name on the list since she received lots of names from home development. I knew this would happen, because it's happened to us before. Lucky for L, he has the supervisor's cell phone and she told us if the baby came into care, it would be ours. It's still under investigation and a relative is looking at her.

I know, I know....reunification with family is the goal. I have no rights to this child nor should I expect to get her.

I just really, really wanted her and so desperately needed to catch a break.

I'll let you know when I have a final verdict, but it's not looking good for her staying with us.

Could this be it?

Please send prayers. Our worker called us about a newborn baby girl. Don't have many details except she is supposedly just foster, but mom is in jail, so we're gonna take a chance. She's from a parish that's pleasant to work with. In fact, the parish Princess was from. We actually called the supervisor on her cell and she said they're waiting on an order to place her into care, but she's ours.

Still many uncertainties...is dad around? Are there relatives to take her? How long is she in jail and what are the charges? We decided to take the risk since most of the placements we had that weren't supposed to reunify went home. Nothing will happen til' Monday, so gonna try to get ahead as much as possible on my school work.

I hope this is it. I hope this one stays.

Working

Our planned Easter vacation with runergirl was cancelled due to some health issues with L. T(K's little brother) stayed a few days for Easter and this time the two of them were driving me crazy.

I've been mostly doing schoolwork. 2 major assignments are due by the end of the month. Teacher still hasn't updated my midterm exam grade she lost, so may end up having to fight my grade at the end. Not good, because this is a kinda smaller college so I would likely have this teacher again.

I haven't been sleeping well and not doing so well with all the recent losses in our family. I miss all my girls terribly. I'm on my own dealing with this because most people say "that's what you signed up for." We've have 7 children in our home and adopted 1 (K will make 2).

I'm still having difficulty adjusting to a teenage boy in the house. L instantly bonded because they have a lot in common, but we have nothing in common. The best I can describe is that he is my annoying little brother. It sounds bad, but I'm just being honest. Yes, we will adopt him, because L dropped the bomb that we were adopting him on the first home visit, so it would be cruel to change my mind now. It's nothing I can pinpoint, besides I'm having difficultly bonding. Maybe it has something to do with Bubbles being taken the same time K moved in. I have to remember this adoption is for K, not myself.

I've also been hearing rumors that we've been getting overlooked for placements of younger children because he's here, and out of fear that if they gave us a little one, we'd send him back. It's just wrong, the more you try to help the kids, the worse they treat you. The ONLY reason we got Missy is because she had a feeding tube and noone else wanted her. Is it too much to ask to have a healthy baby/toddler that will stay with us? I guess it's not our time yet, and when our next child comes along, we'll understand why the others had to leave.

Smiley still has a LONG way ahead of him. I finally found him a good PT, and ordered him an infant walker, so maybe he'll be walking soon. Speech is progressing somewhat but still no recognizable words except Mama. I did see him clap his hands while singing "Ga ga, ga ga" which appeared to be an attempt to sing pat-a-cake. We've been hopeful, but begining to fear the worst for him developmentally. I just pray he is able to attend school and do well enough to be self-supportive in adulthood. I think if we lived in a larger city, we'd have a better supply of services to help him. I have faith that he's gonna be fine, just a bit discouraged at this time. He gives the best hugs and cuddles though, and beginning to really have laughing fits at times.

No News

Some of you were asking how Missy was. I just don't know. I pray her dad is taking good care of her, but he doesn't have a good history of doing so.

Yes, I miss her badly, but this time, I cried for her. I can cope. I don't have to go back to whatever home she was so terrified to return to. I doubt I'll hear anything before the Easter holidays are over because noone will be working. If I do call to check on her, they will just tell me she's fine whether it's true or not.

There's a VERY VERY SLIM chance Bubbles and her little brother may return to us. I won't get into the details because it's such a long shot. We're gonna put it in God's hands and if we are asked, we'll think about it then, but I'll be sure to remind myself she will probably be reunified. At least our family could say goodbye. I don't think it will happen though.

To top things off, my teacher missplaced my midterm. I emailed her my midterm 2 days before it was due, she emailed me later that day what my grade was. I then get an email from her on Wed. saying she did not receive my midterm and to bring a hard copy to class! I replied with the email she sent me (that had my grade on it), attached the file again and brought a hard copy to class. I know it was a misunderstanding, but I was freaking out about it all day long. I don't like having things happen with my grade.

T(K's little brother) is here and will be visiting with us until Sunday, so that should be interesting...

Reunification

Ok, it's ok the first time a child goes into foster care and the parents truly straighten out their lives. It gets a little harder for the child the 2nd time they are reunified. Here's the scenario of what happens the THIRD time a child is reunified. L returns Missy to transportation worker. Keep in mind, this child is TWO, not 6 or 7.....

Missy: NO DADDY!! I'M SO SORRY!! I WON'T DO IT AGAIN DADDY...PLEASE DON'T SEND ME BACK.

L: Baby, I'm not giving you back. You're daddy is going to take care of you. He misses you.

Missy: NOOO!! YOU'RE MY DADDY!!

The screaming and hollering was so bad the cops were called. The worker had to show her badge and explain the situation. L tried taking her into the store and getting candy and comforting her, but she had a grip around his leg. She was banging her head against everything and screaming. After finally getting her into the carseat she pulled the strap around her neck and attempted to tighten it.

What can I say....her dad has rights....

Clean

Dad's drug screen is clean! Missy will be leaving on Monday. I hope he continues to stay clean for his little girl so she doesn't have to be moved again.

Probably leaving

Missy's dad went to court with a private attorney today and she almost went home.

They are drug testing dad, and as long as he doesn't have too much drugs in his system(he doesn't have to be clean), she will return to him Monday.

To top things off caseworker asked us to bring her to visit 2 hours out of our way only to find out when we get there, there will be no visit because drug test results are not in yet.

So, she will likely visit on Friday, and return to dad on Monday, clean or not.

Is it too much to ask that these parents not be using to get their kids back?

Missy

I'm not yet sure how to correctly pronounce her name, so it's Missy for now. I don't know her whole story except she was recently reunified and parents still had drug/neglect issues. She was moved to grandmas who was also using. Caseworker, supervisor and DA want to go for immediate TPR, but judges in this region have a history of keeping kids in foster care for years before giving them permancy needed if tpr is required. At least the agency is on the child's side this time, so just have to get the judges on board.

She's so funny with Smiley. Although he's older, she calls him the baby. I told her to help baby walk and she says, "Walk baby, give me your hands." She seems to talk a lot for two and understand a lot too.

Why did we get called for her? Because she has a feeding tube and noone else wants her. I was scared myself because I didn't know what medical problems she may have had. I was a bit irritated at first that the first calls in months was for another sick child. I trusted L's judgement, and as ususal, he was right about this child. There is nothing wrong with her and she eats like a champ.

I probably won't be able to blog much because she's pretty demanding, but so lovable too. The hardest thing now is telling her no.

Ask and You shall receive

We got a Two Year old girl yesterday. She was reunified for almost a week before coming back into care. DA, caseworker, supervisor and child's attorney are attempting to go for immediate TPR. Of course, it will still probably take years, but we'll take another chance.

More to come later, because she is actually sleeping in this room now and don't dare risk waking her.

Oh, and yes, she does run the house. She's the baby at almost a month younger than Smiley.