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Our planned Easter vacation with runergirl was cancelled due to some health issues with L. T(K's little brother) stayed a few days for Easter and this time the two of them were driving me crazy.

I've been mostly doing schoolwork. 2 major assignments are due by the end of the month. Teacher still hasn't updated my midterm exam grade she lost, so may end up having to fight my grade at the end. Not good, because this is a kinda smaller college so I would likely have this teacher again.

I haven't been sleeping well and not doing so well with all the recent losses in our family. I miss all my girls terribly. I'm on my own dealing with this because most people say "that's what you signed up for." We've have 7 children in our home and adopted 1 (K will make 2).

I'm still having difficulty adjusting to a teenage boy in the house. L instantly bonded because they have a lot in common, but we have nothing in common. The best I can describe is that he is my annoying little brother. It sounds bad, but I'm just being honest. Yes, we will adopt him, because L dropped the bomb that we were adopting him on the first home visit, so it would be cruel to change my mind now. It's nothing I can pinpoint, besides I'm having difficultly bonding. Maybe it has something to do with Bubbles being taken the same time K moved in. I have to remember this adoption is for K, not myself.

I've also been hearing rumors that we've been getting overlooked for placements of younger children because he's here, and out of fear that if they gave us a little one, we'd send him back. It's just wrong, the more you try to help the kids, the worse they treat you. The ONLY reason we got Missy is because she had a feeding tube and noone else wanted her. Is it too much to ask to have a healthy baby/toddler that will stay with us? I guess it's not our time yet, and when our next child comes along, we'll understand why the others had to leave.

Smiley still has a LONG way ahead of him. I finally found him a good PT, and ordered him an infant walker, so maybe he'll be walking soon. Speech is progressing somewhat but still no recognizable words except Mama. I did see him clap his hands while singing "Ga ga, ga ga" which appeared to be an attempt to sing pat-a-cake. We've been hopeful, but begining to fear the worst for him developmentally. I just pray he is able to attend school and do well enough to be self-supportive in adulthood. I think if we lived in a larger city, we'd have a better supply of services to help him. I have faith that he's gonna be fine, just a bit discouraged at this time. He gives the best hugs and cuddles though, and beginning to really have laughing fits at times.