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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Reunification

Ok, it's ok the first time a child goes into foster care and the parents truly straighten out their lives. It gets a little harder for the child the 2nd time they are reunified. Here's the scenario of what happens the THIRD time a child is reunified. L returns Missy to transportation worker. Keep in mind, this child is TWO, not 6 or 7.....

Missy: NO DADDY!! I'M SO SORRY!! I WON'T DO IT AGAIN DADDY...PLEASE DON'T SEND ME BACK.

L: Baby, I'm not giving you back. You're daddy is going to take care of you. He misses you.

Missy: NOOO!! YOU'RE MY DADDY!!

The screaming and hollering was so bad the cops were called. The worker had to show her badge and explain the situation. L tried taking her into the store and getting candy and comforting her, but she had a grip around his leg. She was banging her head against everything and screaming. After finally getting her into the carseat she pulled the strap around her neck and attempted to tighten it.

What can I say....her dad has rights....

18 Comments:

  • At 2:22 PM, Blogger qUeEn oF tHe cAstLe said…

    Holy &*#%^!! I'm crying just reading it. I can't believe this system was created to PROTECT the children. So sad...Praying that GOd has HIS arms around her and that she'll find stability soon...

     
  • At 4:58 PM, Blogger happyadoptingmom said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

     
  • At 4:59 PM, Blogger happyadoptingmom said…

    I am crying and angry at the same time. Who reunifies a 2 year old 3 times? I will continue to pray for Missy and you.

     
  • At 5:01 PM, Blogger AA said…

    Heartbreaking. Truly.

    I don't think you shoukld get that many chances with a child's life.

     
  • At 6:24 PM, Blogger Runergirl said…

    That kills me. I wish the system would work for the kids down there.

     
  • At 6:45 PM, Blogger Amanda said…

    OMG. I'm so sorry for you, and for hubby and most of all, for Missy.

    The system doesn't work for kids anywhere. It's sick.

     
  • At 7:06 PM, Blogger Ms. J said…

    OMG, I may be speechless. Beyond belief. My heart goes out to this baby, and to both of you.

     
  • At 7:44 PM, Blogger GLouise said…

    Wow, that is truly awful. It hurts my heart.

     
  • At 11:42 PM, Blogger JUST A MOM said…

    SUCKS!!! THE SYSTEM SUCKS!!!!!





    I am so sorry she is in my preyers.

     
  • At 9:25 AM, Blogger sparks said…

    Holy crap!! I'm so sorry that Missy had to go through that! That must be so tramatic on a 2 year old. I hope that they call you first if she needs to go back into care.

     
  • At 11:33 AM, Blogger krueth said…

    OH my heart breaks for Missy, who does not understand. I am sitting with tears reading your blog...how can they do this to the innocent. So sorry for you and your husband.
    How can they do this 3 times?

     
  • At 2:20 PM, Blogger TeamWinks said…

    Uuuggghh. It's just so wrong.

     
  • At 7:07 AM, Blogger Jo said…

    This makes me sooo angry. So where are Missy's rights???? I'm praying for her and your family.

     
  • At 7:07 AM, Blogger Overwhelmed! said…

    This just sucks! I'm so sorry for what that precious little angel is going through. May God protect her. I'm sorry you had to go through this too.

    I truly believe that the foster care system NEEDS to be reformed!

    My husband and I were appalled when we sat through out MAPPs training classes and heard the instructors telling us that parents got three chances PER INCIDENT to get their act together and get their child back.

    So, for example, let's say parents get their child taken away for neglect while they're abusing drugs. They get clean long enough to get their child back and then they start using and neglecting again, so the child gets taken away again. Reunification happens and again they stumble and get their child taken away a third time. They get clean again so child goes back home a third time.

    Now let's say that drugs are no longer involved but they get angry and beat their child and a neighbor calls an abuse hotline on them and CPS comes out to take their child away. Believe it or not, according to our trainer, these parents would get ANOTHER THREE CHANCES with their child because it's a different incident than the previous three times (physical abuse this time rather than drugs/neglect).

    I seriously thought the trainer was kidding when she told us all of that. Nope, not kidding. That's how the system works in our area.

    Now, I'm sure there have got to be judges out there that would refuse to send the child back after all of that, but who knows for sure.

    Unfortunately, many of these poor children suffer so much before they are finally given permanent stability and a forever family.

    I will offer up a prayer for Missy.

     
  • At 9:38 AM, Blogger Cookie's Mom said…

    I pray she is safe. That had to be gut-wrenching. I know she had to be terrified. I'm so, so sorry. I'm praying for you and L, too.

     
  • At 11:06 AM, Blogger megan said…

    I don't even know what to type through the tears. How heartbreaking!!!

     
  • At 11:29 AM, Blogger bloggingmomto2 said…

    Please let us know how you are doing & if you know how Missy is doing too!

     
  • At 6:06 AM, Blogger FosterMommy said…

    I read this to fostermama and she said "why do you keep reading those fostering blogs? Masochism?"

    She's right. This system is so screwed up. They should just leave kids with their bios who are abusing them, instead of showing them a good, normal life, and then taking it all away. It's just cruel.

    I'm so, so, so sad for Missy and hope that her dad gets his act together.

     

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