It Just Felt Right

Yesterday, we let Smiley's sisters, mom and grandma visit with him a little while at their local mickey D's. His grandma called saying the girls missed him. It went really well, and much easier knowing I don't HAVE to let them visit,and it is at my descretion. I just don't want to piss off his bio family too much before the adoption is finalized. After that we'll probably cut back to visiting only near Christmas, if any. It's been over 3 months since TPR and it's the first time she's asked to see him. I expect them to fade out and move on though.

Smiley's bio mom was very appreciative, couldn't thank me enough. Bio grandma told me she dragged bio mom back to her mental health appointments(her kicking and screaming) and she is now on medication helping her control the outbursts she used to have. Bio mom still seemed more worried about her b/f holding Smiley, so still has major co-dependency issues. She also seemed to hang out with me and Bubbles more than Smiley. I know if my son were TPR'd and the adoptive parents let me visit again, I would hold him as much as possible.

Why did we do it? It just felt right, as my title says. We will probably eventually cut out all contact, because I'm not sure an open adoption will be a good idea, unless bio mom can pretend to be an aunt or something.

In other news, the worst thing that can happen if you live in South LA happened. Our A/C broke last night. The repairman came but can't get the part til tomorrow. We had to buy a window unit for the front room and all of us had to camp out in there. So*cial S*ervices would love that! Hopefully, we will be with a working A/C tomorrow.

Adoption Date(updated)

We got a date for Smiley's adoption. On November 9, I will be a legal mommy!!

As far as Bubbles' case, mom and dad didn't show up for their visit this week. Ok, so maybe mom could use the excuse of giving birth a week ago, but why the hell dad couldn't show up? Visits are held right around the corner from their house and transportation is provided!

I'm sure cw still thinks they are mother and father of the year, since it's not possibly their fault missing the visit again!

If they can't visit her because of the other baby, I hate to think of her going home and needing to eat but can't get fed because of the baby...

Continued

Bubbles' case was continued until the end of next month. I'm so frustrated I was nearly in tears. Bio mom didn't show so they re-scheduled court, since she just had a baby last week. I think it's a stall tactic. What a wasted day of missed work!

I guess it wasn't completely wasted because when we arrived at court, Smiley's adoption worker was there. Apparantly, he had a court hearing today too. We didn't have to be there, but since we were there for Bubbles anyway, we attended his very short hearing.

There was some kind of commnunication error and E&arly S.teps told social s.ervices that we refused services for Bubbles! She was denied because she didn't qualify. She doesn't need it. She has no delays. Now we have to have her evaluated again. It takes 5 separate visits for an evaluation! I'm so pissed! Like I would deny my kids' treatment they needed! They said if we didn't do it, they would have to move her. I think they are just looking for an excuse because we fight for her and want another foster family who will just stay out of things.

Smiley's attorney filed the adoption paperwork, so we have to wait at least 30 days before we can schedule a court hearing. Smiley should be ours by later October, early November!

Open Adoption

I am not even considering putting this in the adoption contract, but what do you think I should do for Smiley's extended biological family?

Should I let him visit both biological grandmas? His paternal grandmother is actually a friend of ours. We've seen her a couple times since TPR, and bio dad has actually moved near where I used to live. Bio dad was ready to sign rights away throughout the whole time and wanted us to adopt him when he heard we had him. I've never met him though.

Anyway, Smiley's maternal bio grandma emailed me today because his sisters were asking about him and wanted to see him. Do you think I should allow this? I do not want to continue a relationship with his bio mom though. I doubt the requests for visits will come very often because in the almost 18 mos we had Smiley, she had L's cell phone number and never once called to visit.

Do you think I should allow sporadic visits or tell them if they are going to visit, they must visit consistently and not pop in and out of his life all the time?

I was just thinking that his sisters did nothing wrong. Will I be causing myself trouble?

I know I ultimately have to decide for myself but would appreciate your advice.

He's Here!

Bubbles' sibling was born yesterday. He has not been taken into care and we're not sure if he will. Supposedly, there's no cause, so we wait for court next week.

If they let the baby stay, I'm sure Bubbles would probably go home although it's not safe for either of them. The good news is the baby must have been drug free.

Who knows?

Bad News Everywhere

I woke up around 3 am in pain in my side. I some some medicine and went back to sleep, praying it wasn't another cyst rupturing. I woke up again around 6 am, still in bad pain, but bearable. I figured I'd go to school anyway because a ruptured cyst would only knock me on my ass for about 30 minutes, then I'd be fine.

I got to daycare and called inside for help with the babies(still in a good amount of pain). I got up to help her and I nearly buckled over in pain. Severe, severe pain. I went inside and lied down. I was nauseated, couldn't move and crying in pain. They drove me to the hospital.

One of the quack doctors was working so I still don't know what happened, but the SEVERE pain began at 7am and ended at 8:15am. The ruptured cyst I had last time lasted only about 20 minutes. Also, there was pain in my back too. The cat scan showed kidney stones so I could have passed a kidney stone or could have had a ruptured cyst. My appendix was also enlarged, but I was sent home like everything was fine.

Later I call the school to touch base and find out one of my co-workers is complaining about me with her kid that doesn't want to pay attention.

To make things even better, Bubbles' worker calls to inform us that she has a visit tomorrow(was supposed to be yesterday but she didn't show) because he dad is now out of prison! Wonderful news! Violent dr*g dealing daddy is now out of prison and knows where she goes to day care! Worker told Bubbles' mom it's possible the new baby may come into care and she didn't say nothing. She is due to have a c-section next Wed. He gets out of jail so everyone is now gonna re-arrange their schedules for him to visit! Makes me so angry!

We called CASA supervisor(our CASA is know longer there, another story for another day)and she said she'd work on getting the police reports and arrest records together before court. Her worker will likely try to go to court and pretend everything is going well, so gotta keep CASA and her attorney informed, which btw, was Smiley's attorney and is awesome!

No News Yet

Still no word on Bubbles' sibling yet. Supposed to be due any day now. It seems like she's been due any day now forever. I'm thinking we'll probably take it now. I wasn't sure L was on board for another baby until he called me at school begging me to take a 1 yr old and 3 week old we were called for. At least one of us is sane. We got called to take 3 babies in the last couple weeks! We're on hold til we find out what's gonna happen with Bubbles and her sibling.

My kids at school are still kicking my butt, but hoping to have a better week next week. This is definately the hardest job I ever had, but I love it, despite the stress.

Bubbles is cruising around the furniture and attempting to let go and take off. I think she'll be walking very soon. Not much more progress on the walking front with Smiley. He's a little lazy though. He is jumping in his bed all the time and making more noises. Still a lot of just babbling but he's making more sounds. We finally got speech up to about 2 times a week between E*arly Steps and the clinic. I have no idea what happened to his physical therapist though. We haven't heard from her in months. Must be nice to have a baby and disappear.


Well gotta run catch up on some rest. Court is in a couple more weeks for Bubbles so wish us luck!