Sibling Visits

We choose to do sibling visits on our own time, rather than have K miss more school. The group home his little brother T lives in is about 30 minutes away in a nearby town we often go to eat out.

We did a pizza mall visit today. T was supposed to stay the night tonight, but K is grounded. We had some issues with him getting written up, lying about a teacher, and missing the bus(we think purposely). We had to get on him hard, so I had to cancel the overnight visit. Visits are necessary for him(although not required), but overnight visits are a privilege he must earn. I have to know he will be on his best behavior before I have both of them for the night.

The visit was great. K treated T very well today. K got a break and played at the arcade with T and gave him both prizes he won! I'm so proud of K for this gesture. Last time he acted out and was jealous. Too bad T couldn't take one of his prizes(a shocking cell phone--that thing actually hurts!). We are keeping it for him to play with at the next visit. I then told K again that is why he is lucky and should make T feel special when they visit.

I learned today T once had an adoptive home but was sent back for getting into trouble at school. He said it was because the kids kept messing with him and teasing him because he was white.

K has some minor charges we are trying to(and probably will insist on) get dropped before we sign the adoption contract. They all are a result from lack of supervision at the group home. One was from someone beating him up, the staff not doing anything about it, so he broke the window, and the owners pressed charges! Kinda ticks me off! The 2 others were from theft of candy. I jumped his ass up and down about it. One of his friends there told him to. This "friend" is now in a juvenile detention center.

K is capable of so much more than his profile said. He was not doing well in school, because NO ONE CARED if he did his work. His grades are getting better. He can make 100% on a test if we make him study. The challege is getting him to bring all his assignments home so we know what is due. L had a conference with all his teachers and are working together to get him in a good routine.

Please talk some sense into me because I'm starting to get attached to T, almost more than K. He asked us if we could adopt him. How do you answer a question like that? We plan on building a bigger house in the next year, but now, I just can't handle another teenager, well, almost teenager.

I really need to help find T a home.

Bubbles

L and K went out to eat tonight while I was in class and guess whose table they were seated next too?

Bubbles' parents!

From the conversation L learned(assuming no lies were told) that overnight and weekend visits will be starting at the end of the month. Also, when baby brother went into care, dad asked him to be placed with us. They told dad we couldn't take him(a lie) and he was not too happy about both babies being moved since we were willing to take both.

Also, he said the current foster parents ran a background check without his permission(is that illegal?). His new attorney found out somehow. Dad is now employed, so both have jobs now, which is good. According to them, they also have their own place now. It seems her parents are doing some good things, but have they stopped doing the bad things is the question, and I do not have the answer.

Dad also said when Bubbles starts coming for overnight visits and returns home we were welcome to visit(and even babysit, cause they go out a lot)! I'm not holding my breath, but it would be nice. We'll see.

I think I made the right decision letting her go when she did. I don't think I could handle going back and forth and sick all the time.

Keep Bubbles in your prayers, and her dad, that they both stay safe and secure.

Oh yeah, Dad paid for L and K's dinner. . .

Feeding Tube

Smiley's came out today! I have no more g-tube fed babies at the moment. No stitching required, he just deflated the baloon and pulled it out. Now Smiley has to eat by mouth and no more laziness allowed for me now.

stepson

He's been put back into the ICU for more bleeding from his head. I don't have a lot of details because his mom has been causing us a LOT of greif again! She asked L when he was gonna be a dad and go down there. He just had a heart attack last week and can no way handle the trip or the stress she would put him through. If she wouldn't have hidden him for 12 years and took him out of state, we could do more.

Something good is supposed to come at the end of suffering right?

Accident

Anyone hear of that 50 car pileup near Tampa, FL? Stepson was in that accident. He didn't wear a seatbelt and went through tbe windsheild. His head got pretty banged up. Yesterday morning he had bleeding from the brain and had to have a 5 hour operation, which ended up taking 8 hours. He's stable. Not sure when L will be healthy enough to travel there. His ex also had her baby girl the day before, and her other child is sick too.

I've been having really bad headaches, but I also stopped the BCP this week, so maybe they're related, or it's stress. I had an appointment tomorrow, but gonna have to cancel because need to take Smiley back to the doctor. He's been fighting a cold about a month(already took him in once). He's on breathing treatments but still not sounding good.

In other adoption news, Smiley's bio mom's friend is pg. They just tpr'd her other three children and she "may"(possibly) let us adopt it rather that letting her baby go into the system. It's a longshot though, but we'll see. We met her visiting Smiley's mom and she seemed impressed that we were kind enough to let Smiley visit her.

Someone L knows is pastor of a church opening an orphanage in Peru, so that could be a remote possiblity too.

I'm not saying we won't take anymore from the state, but I'm really hoping to have a baby and it be legally mine. The waiting and worrying is starting to wear me down, especially after the situation with Bubbles.

Blood tests

They came back good. He should be in for further testing in the next couple days. Maybe it wasn't a heart attack. This is coming from a small town doctor. If there's more reason to concern, we'll go out of town.

I'm not really comforted as I still don't have much info. Thanks for the prayers and please keep them coming. I don't know how many more kid's I'd be able to help without him.

It Just Keeps coming

We think L had a heart attack last night...at the ripe old age of 28. The experience he described the cardiologist said was likely a heart attack. He was told if he would have went to sleep, he may not have woke up.

Apparantly, it's not bad enough to require hospitalization, but I'm scared shitless.

We should get blood test results tomorrow.

I Called Them

Bubbles' new foster dad. I don't think it made me feel much better except knowing she is safe. She is walking all over the place, eating like a pig and off the bottle!

They told them caseplan was reunification and they were both expected to be returned home in May. Foster dad asked about the parents. I had him tell me what he knew first, then filled in the gaps. I asked them to please keep fighting for her. I explained that mom was in a bad situation and didn't have a lot of options, but dad was not too good a guy. If mom would leave him, really leave him, I'd support her in getting her kids back, but I don't think the kids should have to live with a guy who beats their mom.

They don't care for Bubbles' name either and nickname her too.

I just pray she is not returned to an unsafe home, that dad gets serious help before they go back...

Hole

I'm having a bad night tonight. These two weeks off have been great, but the time off gives me so much time to remember all the pain.

Two children were taken from me. One's in heaven, so I know she is happy. It's Bubbles...I miss her so much. It hurts so bad. As I have been getting more info, I've learned how sneaky they were in screwing us. They called nearly every family in our area to take both babies. Most refused and told caseworker how wrong she was for doing this to us.

What were the new foster parents told? They were told both cases were poor prognosis. We were told the goal was reunification. Supervisor told new foster parents they would try to cut visits down from 3 times a week to once a week! Someone at the hearing should have objected to the visit increases considering the parents rarely attended once a week visits.

I cannot regret my decision, because I could not realistically commit to 3 visits a week. Not that I didn't want to, but Smiley's schedule does not allow it. He has many out of town appointments so when I take him, I must take all the kids because we get back late. We were screwed because we fought for our little girl, but if my losing her keeps her safe, I guess I will just have to go through the pain.

I have been given the number to the new foster parents through our worker, who said they were nice and we could call them and let them know she gave us the number. I want to call, but I'm scared. I learned this family was not quite certified, but pushed through quickly to take my babies! Ok, I know they're not legally mine, but you get the idea.

I want to know how she's doing. I long to hear that laugh once more..see that beautiful smile again. I can't imagine what she must have felt when the person she thought was mommy left her. It's all ok, I guess, since we caught caseworker lying in court and not doing her job and she had explaining to do. L and I will be on the panel for a foster parent class again next month, and I know what I'm gonna tell them.....

Fight for your kids! They may get taking from you for fighting for them, but fight anyway!

It's not fair I didn't get to spend Christmas with her. I can't explain how I held it together as I received gifts with her name on them. I put away her stocking when she left.

Still, I so desperately want more children, so I am at their mercy. The pain of infertility never ends.