Birth Story

I was thinking about this last night and realized I never posted a birth story. Since it's been almost 7 months, better write it down before I start forgetting the details. Some details may be TMI, but you're warned because I don't really want to edit the story. Let's see how much Kyleigh is gonna let me write:

July 12, 2010

My alarm goes of at around 2:30 am, although I really didn't need it. Who could sleep anyway? I was going to meet my daughter today. I quickly get dressed and wait on L who drags himself up. I woke up with killer hearburn, but nothing I could do about it: I wasn't allowed to eat or drink since around 7pm the night before.

We arrive at the hospital around 3:15 a.m., and they escort me back. L had to wait outside until everything was set up and he wasn't too thrilled about it, but he didn't miss much, just me changing into the hospital gown, answering questions and getting the IV/pitocin started.

As I got into the hospital bed I looked to my left and saw the little table/area ready for the baby later. I smiled as it sunk in....there's actually gonna be a baby in there later today, my baby. I told the nurse about my birth plan which was simple: do whatever you have to do to get Kyleigh out safely and healthy and I'd like to be in as little pain as possible, so definitely want the epidural. The nurse checked me, was at 2cm, brought me the consent form for the epidural to sign and told me I could have it as soon as I needed. She started the pitocin and L was allowed to come in.

I don't remember much between 4 and 7:30 am but nurse coming in to check on my and trying to rest a bit. At around 7:30 am, Dr. P came in to break my water. I was quite nervous about this pain wise and it kinda sucked: lots of cramping followed by a but of liquid coming out, sorry gross. Immediately after felt some intense cramping and opted for the epidural before it got too bad. I was gonna get in anyway, might as well get it over with and be comfortable.

Of all the scary things about giving birth, I was most afraid of having the epidural placed. I hate needles, especially big ones that go in my spine. Being more terrified of having to push a baby out with no pain meds, I sucked it up. The nurse gave me some IV meds that were supposed to keep my blood pressure from dropping too low for about 30 minutes, then the anasthesiologist, came in the place the epidural. It was not fun, but not as bad as I thought, but the worst part of the day. I didn't pass out and the nurse helped hold me still. I felt almost immediate relief and my legs, which had been aching the last few weeks were numb, so I could finally get comfortable and rest.

The epidural(or labor, not sure which) caused some nausea and itching, so once they gave me meds for both, I was comfortable and really sleepy. It is now around 8 am and my mom has arrived, soon followed by my MIL and FIL. My dad worked half day and came in around noon since I told him he wouldn't really be missing anything.

For the next few hours I slept, sort of. I could hear faint conversations of the people in the room. Kyleigh was not liking the contractions, so they had to do some closer internal monitoring on her heartbeat, and later, my contractions. I didn't feel anything, and I can honestly say I was not too worried. I was at an excellent hospital and they knew my only birth plan request was: get her out safely, and I really didn't care what method they had to use. In my sleepy state, I nearly said, "Cut her out if you have to, just keep her safe."

The next few hours were uneventful. I rested, I was checked every couple hours and dilating and progressing well. Around 2:30 p.m., the nurse checked me and I was 10 cm. Time to push.

Pushing had always scared me and I was afraid this is where it was going to start to hurt...a lot. I was also praying they wouldn't have to turn the epidural down so I could feel pushing sensation. She showed me how to push and although I didn't feel like I was doing anything, it waas working. Thank goodness. I was able to push and didn't feel anything.

I was amazed at how much the nurse did here. Doctor wasn't called in until I was a few pushes away from Kyleigh coming. 3:13 pm, out she comes. Didn't even know she was here until they held her up. I remember saying, "Wait I can't see her" and they held her up again.

Here's where things kinda didn't go as planned. I had this picture that she'd be placed on my belly and we could start breastfeeding. She decided she wanted some help breathing so they took her over to the table working on her. I was a little concerned as I'm balancing between turning my head to see her and feeling the pressure(not pain) of Dr. P stitching me up and teaching another doctor how it's done. I heard him mention 3rd degree tearing...ouch...I'm really going to be hurting later.

Normally, watching them work on her would have freaked me out but I took comfort in one thing: If they are still working on her in the room and not rushed her off to special care nursey or the NICU, she must be doing fairly well. After about 15-20, L carried her too me. He still to this day teases me that he got to hold her first. I start crying(no surprise there) and still in disbelief that she's mine and L goes to bring the family in. About 10-15 relatives.

The nurse gives me pain meds and I didn't have enough hands so my mom asks, "you want me to take her" I nodded yes and I could tell she was excited. Then realizing I was EXTREMELY thirsty, I let Kyleigh get passed around while I kept drinking and asking for more water.

Then it's time to drain my bladder. Never thought I would have done this, but I let everyone stay but kicked the men out since I was gonna be half naked. Kyleigh was getting her first bath at the same time which kinda sucked, so my lady relatives were over there taking pictures and I'm lying in bed half naked and missing some of her first bath. There's no modesty in giving birth that's for sure.

My guests had to go back to the waiting room as Kyleigh and I would be going our separate ways for a while. They wanted to take her to the nursery a while and monitor her breathing. Again, wasn't too worried and knew she was in good hands.

After a couple hours of relaxing, I was just about to ask someone for a phone number to the nursery so I could call to check on Kyleigh and a nurse is rolling her in. The numbness has worn off and in walks another nurse to drain my bladder. I shook my head and said, "Ok, I'm going to the bathroom now, I promise."

My sister brings me McDonald's later. I think L went to my mom's to check on the kids. I made my first attempts at breastfeeding then did something I never imagined. I asked them to take her to the nursery so we could rest a little but to bring her back to me when she needed to eat so I could breastfeed. 2 hours later, she was brought back, fed her(attempted to), then sent her back for another quick nap then another 2 hours she is rolled back in crying. It's nearly morning by then so kept her with me.

The next day I had a lactation nurse come in to help with with breastfeeding since I really had no idea what I was doing. Later that not, she was developing jaundice, so we had to supplement with formula(I know I could have fought harder, but gonna do what's best for her first). After realizing it came out faster in the bottle, she didn't work hard at the breast anymore. That's ok, I just had to pump my milk and give it to her in a bottle. I pumped for about 6 weeks(actually keeping ahead of her and had a nice freezer stash of milk. I weaned for the next 3-4 weeks and then continued formula/breastmilk until my freezer supply was gone, making it almost 3 months total. Not too bad consdering I had to do double the work and there were times where I was literally pummping milk for her while giving her a bottle of expressed milk at the same time. There were a few times she'd take the breast, but never enough to get full.

The recovering was rough. I'd often be so busy at the hospital and forget to take my pain meds, or so eshausted I didn't ask for them because they would make me sleep and I was trying to take care of all of Kyleigh's needs. About 3 weeks later, I was feeling a good bit better.

Wow, that was a bit longer than I expected, but at least the day is documented now. I have an awesome almost 7 month old daughter who played quietly for about 30 minutes so I could type this.






Oh yeah, some other good news. After years of asking for newborn pics of Nick, his biological mom finally posted some newborn pics of him on here mysp@ce page! Take a look:

Rolling

Yesterday, I was browsing through old posts and I found one where I listed about 7 of Princess' personality quirks. It put a smile on my face to read them because I'd forgotton some. So now, I'm gonna try to document more on my kids so I'll have some memories to read later.

Well, we had two "snow days" although it didn't really snow, but in South Louisiana if they think snow is coming, everything shuts down. L was also off those two days, so the 5 of us had 4 days off together and now L realizes that caring for 3 small children is a lot of work. While it was nice to have the bonding time, school gives me a little break time and one on one time with Kyleigh.

The boys returned today and I was so exhausted Kyleigh and I took about a 3 hour nap. Now I'm good and refreshed to start the rat race when the boys get home. At my house, from about 3-9 is non-stop hectic. Nick and John get off the bus, then it's an assembly line of baths, tube feeding for Nick, struggling to get Nick bathed, diapered and dressed while John is literally under my feet non-stop talking. Very different from me as a kid, because I used to like to entertain myself in my room with my toys. By the time baths are done, L is arriving home and time to get supper prepared. During that time there is two baby feedings(bottle and baby food), then we eat, clean the kitchen and what's next...time for Nick's final tube feeding, followed by another diaper change(changing Nick is a challenge as he escapes and runs away from me). Later it's a final goodnight bottle for Kyleigh, then tuck John in and if I get all that done by 8, L and I have a little quiet time until about 9 when I'm ready to pass out. Love it though.

Kyleigh is finally tolerating being on the floor and is starting to roll all over the place, so hopefully soon she will start sitting and crawling. She can sit for a couple minutes, but I have to put her into a sitting position cause she can't get there on her own yet. She just now fell asleep on the floor as I put her down to play. She is also at the age where when she realizes I'm not in the room, she gets pissed. John is doing better potty training and we're getting more dry days. Yesterday I put a Christmas H*rshey bar on the table and told him that was his treat he could have that evening if he stayed dry all day...he did.

Not a lot new for Nick. I caught him on video the other day singing a new song, "wheels on the bus" where I could clearly here him saying "round and round." I'll attempt to upload the video, but not sure if it will work. If you follow me on f@cebook, I posted it there a couple days ago. Well, gonna run and enjoy a bit of quiet for the next hour I have off.

Update:

Tried to load the video, waited 20 minutes and nothing so sorry :(

Squealing

Kyleigh is definitely a little Princess and she knows how to get what she wants..now! She recently started saying "Da Da" but soon replaced it with saying "Ma Ma" because she knows when she calls Mama, she will get a bottle or diaper quicker. She once was in her exersaucer whining ah ma ma ma. Well,daddy picked her up and she starts crying louder saying "Ma ma ma." I know she'll probably grow to be a daddy's girl but I'm secretly enjoying the fact that she needs mommy now. I've waited so long for this, and it's such a great feeling. She has recently learned that high pitched squealing will get one of us at her service quickly.

She is a really good baby and although I had to wait 6 long years, the pregnancy and birth were relatively easy(although recovering was a bit rough). She started sleeping all night(I'm probably gonna pay for bragging about this tonight) at around 2 months old and probably earlier if I didn't wake her for bottles when she was a newborn. I know there's no such thing as perfection, but she's pretty close in my eyes.

John loves being a big brother. When Kyleigh was younger, and I was breastfeeding, I'd leave a bottle on the counter so it could get to room temperature for her next feeding. Well, when she would start crying, John went to get the bottle and brought it to his sister in her swing and began feeding her. He is also helpful in informing me of dirty diapers..i.e. "Nick stinks" or "Sissy stinks" followed by "Go change him."

The boys have been home the last two days for "snow" days, because when icy weather/snow is predicted in South Louisiana, everything shuts down. Been enjoying the bonding time though.

I am feeling tremendously better today and determined to stop and enjoy every moment of my children and if I never have anymore, I am still blessed more than I can ever imagine.

Speaking of blessings....the Princess is crying now for mommy.

The Other Side

6 years ago when I began the infertility journey, I often wondered if I would ever make it to the other side...the side where I had children. I just knew that having children would erase the pain of infertility. I was wrong.

After all we've been through: infertility, surgeries, IUIs, other treatments, foster care, burying Princess, more foster care, 3 adoptions and finally pregnancy, I found out that infertility still haunts me. Don't get me wrong, I am so blessed to have my 4 children and couldn't be happier, but knowing my next pregnancy could be another 6 years away(if ever) still kinda makes me sad.

We started TTC as soon as my period returned after having my daughter. I am ashmaed to say that I stopped breastfeeding(even though she was only taking expressed breastmilk from a bottle)after only 2 months so we could start TTC again. I mean, the first 18 months after birth are supposed to be your most fertile time, could we really afford to waste these fertile months? Of course not. Now, feeling bad about quitting breastfeeding so soon, becuase it was stupid, because the chances of us getting pregnant again are slim to none. To try to resolve some of the guilt, I'm making my own baby food for her, and this time I'm getting the purree to work perfectly!

I have almost convinced myself not to get my hopes up this time TTC, as if the pain will be any less when it doesn't work. My family feels complete after my daughter was born, but being pregnant made me realize how much I was missing out. I replay the day of my daughter's birth over and over in my head and smile at how huge of a miracle she was.

Smiley is growing like crazy and becoming more of a challenge. His body is growing, but his brain is not. Imagine a baby just learning to walk, into EVERYTTHING, don't understand what "no" means yet, and no sense of danger. Well, that's Smiley, in a 5 year old body, except he will not likely grow past it. Little everyday tasks are a physical struggle for me: he rolls and escapes and runs around the room naked as I run after him with a diaper, begging him to let me dress him. In the tub, he likes to stand up and dive head first into the water. Yes, I try to hold him, but he's slippery when wet, so when mommy grabs for the soap, Smiley goes to town acting like a fish. He's a handful, but the most lovable of my children and definitely the most happy.

K is having some behavioral issues so is in Youth Challenge Program ran by the National Guard, where he will attempt to get his GED and learn some adult reponsiblities.

J is still working on potty training. I know boys are difficult, but he's almost 4 1/2 years old. He's in underwear most of the day and can some days go without accidents, but still diapers at night. One step at a time.

That's about all that's going on. Is anyone still hanging around here?