Back on the Roller Coaster

I dreamt I was pregnant twice last week. It's awful because the whole time I'm not believing it's true. Then I wake up. There are times I thought I could let this go, but I'm not sure if it's just the fear of me getting older, or the fear of me not getting to adopt another baby.

I'm considering talking to my doctor about getting the endometriosis under control as much as possible and maybe doing some fertility treatments over the summer. Dr. Quack has a new partner, so I may try him.

I guess I didn't expect it to take so long to get another placement. With the new judge, even if I were placed with Smiley's moms new baby, it would probably take years. That also means I'd be afraid to accept any placements in our parish. That leaves only the parish princess is from for us to have a chance and the last call I got from them was for weekend respite for a sick 8 month old(which we did).

I'm so thankful that we were able to adopt Smiley. I think I'd have gone nuts if I didn't have at least one adoption finalized after having 10 kids in and out of our home.

K's adoption should be finalized by next month. I see military school in his future. I told him I want him to go and learn to be a man. I think the structure will be good for him. The judge seems willing to offer support after the adoption, so I'm praying he does, because he will need it.

School is rough. I'm getting better at classroom management but still having a hard time with about 6 student who don't want to put any effort forward. Of course, this is MY fault. I do love my job though. It's just frustrating when you can't reach them all.

Bubbles

I know...I just can't let her go.

Bio moms' rights were terminated to mental illness. Bubbles and brother are being returned (this time the judge has ruled it, no longer speculation) to bio dad. If they get married, mom's rights get reinstated. If "dad's" anger is taken out of one of the babies, the clock starts over if they go into foster care again(which will make Bubbles' third time). Mom did say we could visit, and I'll likely see them around town. I just pray for her safety. A new judge has taken over and doesn't believe in TPR.

Smiley's mom is having just one baby and will find out the sex in a couple months. She wants us to bring Smiley to see the baby in the hospital when it's born.

Smiley is definately trying to sing itsy bitsy spider. I can't make out the words, but I hear the tune and see most of the hand motions. He's taking about 6-8 steps at a time.

J is talking and mimicing more. He is doing lots of pointing and recognizing things.