Back on the Roller Coaster

I dreamt I was pregnant twice last week. It's awful because the whole time I'm not believing it's true. Then I wake up. There are times I thought I could let this go, but I'm not sure if it's just the fear of me getting older, or the fear of me not getting to adopt another baby.

I'm considering talking to my doctor about getting the endometriosis under control as much as possible and maybe doing some fertility treatments over the summer. Dr. Quack has a new partner, so I may try him.

I guess I didn't expect it to take so long to get another placement. With the new judge, even if I were placed with Smiley's moms new baby, it would probably take years. That also means I'd be afraid to accept any placements in our parish. That leaves only the parish princess is from for us to have a chance and the last call I got from them was for weekend respite for a sick 8 month old(which we did).

I'm so thankful that we were able to adopt Smiley. I think I'd have gone nuts if I didn't have at least one adoption finalized after having 10 kids in and out of our home.

K's adoption should be finalized by next month. I see military school in his future. I told him I want him to go and learn to be a man. I think the structure will be good for him. The judge seems willing to offer support after the adoption, so I'm praying he does, because he will need it.

School is rough. I'm getting better at classroom management but still having a hard time with about 6 student who don't want to put any effort forward. Of course, this is MY fault. I do love my job though. It's just frustrating when you can't reach them all.