Trying

I'm almost afraid to write this for fear of jinxing things, but I think Smiley is TRYING to take a step. He was taking steps with me holding his hands (a huge milestone for Smiley). He even appeared to try to let go of the coffee table to try and take a step toward me. I think he took a half of step, or maybe I was imagining.

He is still wanting to get on his toes a lot though. Maybe he will walk one day. We are taking him to an orthopedic surgeon Friday to have his feet checked out.

Good news from the plastic surgeon. Looks like no more surgeries with him for a while. He does still have a hole in his palette, but it has to be there so when it all grows together, his gumline will be even.

We see the general surgeon on Monday for his g-tube. I asked them to order another, but I may ask him to remove it. I haven't used it in at least 5-6 months, except for convenience when Bubbles had her blowout on his adoption day, but that doesn't count. I COULD have spoon fed him on the way to court, but I didn't want his adorable outfit to get dirty for pictures. I have always been afraid to remove it, but it may be time. He is gaining weight. He's still on soft foods, but I'm getting enough nutrients in him, and since there are no more mouth surgeries, it may happen. Of course, we'll get the doctor's opinion first.

I dreamed about Bubbles all night last night. I dreamed I met her new foster parents in court. They were ok. I got to hold Bubbles and give her kisses, and she had finally grown some hair. I want her back, but don't want to go through the loss again with caseworker so set on quick reunification.

We picked up K's little brother last night and took them both to Outb*ck. I must say both of his brothers are much calmer than he is. He is a very sweet kid. I told L before we picked him up, I did not want to adopt both of them. Now L is talking about having him spend the night with us sometime(just for them to visit, not to adopt him). I'm not sure this is a good idea as I don't want either of them to get their hopes up. I mentioned getting bunks for his room(for him and Smiley when Smiley gets bigger. He asked if they would be for him and T(his brother), and I said they would be for him and Smiley. K then asked why I was gonna get another baby and I reminded him that the first weekend he was here, that he would have 2 or 3younger siblings, probably babies.

This is where I will sound selfish, but I have one opening left(2 if I take a sibling set), and I still very much want another baby. Maybe if we moved into a bigger house, I'd think about it, but I just can't take 2 almost teenage boys after losing Bubbles and her sibling. Plus, K acts out a lot around his brother, almost jealous. We had to explain to him that we were giving T the extra attention, because he did not get to go home to a family like K did. The best I could do is try to find a home for T that would be willing to allow sibling visits. I can see why they are being placed separately. Individually each is ok, but together, they would be a handful.