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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Boy: Age 11-13

Yup, you read it write. That's what was written on K's Christmas gift he received at the group home! Ok, it was obviously donated, but would it have hurt for someone to take the time to put his name on it.

Group homes are given a HUGE amount of money to care for these children(about 10 times our board check) and he came here with practically nothing but several shirts and pants that were stained and about 5 sizes too big. It's a good thing we went shopping the first visit he was with us.

K has officially moved in with us today. We met his older brother, who has been adopted a couple years ago. I was so thrilled that his adoptive family let him come for a visit. I had previously heard that they wanted no contact with any of the family, even his brothers. Older brother was very polite and chewed K out on his grades, the way he talked and his baggy pants. We gave him all our numbers so he can call K if he wants. I'm hoping his adoptive parents may be later open to visits occasionally. He lives near my parents so visiting wouldn't be much of an inconvenience for us. I advise all new foster parents, or those considering becoming foster parents to consider open adoptions with the siblings. You don't have to make it legal, but if you could allow them to visit their siblings(especially if they were close, then seperated), they will be so grateful. I know it may not be safe if siblings are with bio parents, but if they are in another adoptive home, go for it!

I hope his younger brother will eventually find an adoptive home too, that will consider letting them visit each other.

I think part of the reason I'm getting the cold shoulder at work is because of K. My principal asked if I was sure I wanted to take him as she looked at his not so perfect school records. She reluctantly agreed to let him come to school there, but we opted for public school. I don't want him to get foster child treatment there.

When you're a foster parent, people will think one of two things:
1. You're a saint
2. You're a psycho

There's really no in between. Unfortunately most people think # 2 of us. How could we take those kids? They have problems, issues.

Well my little 2 year old medically needy, so pitiful, mentally retarded child(all what they told me about Smiley before he moved in with us) is jumping in his bed behind me laughing. Maybe he won't be a rocket scientist, but I couldn't be happier and he is the blessing...I'm not a saint for taking him!

6 Comments:

  • At 6:32 AM, Blogger Veronica Scott said…

    I recently heard about your blog. I wanted to let you know what a blessing it is to my husband and myself. We plan on starting foster care when I finish college in the spring. I have gained more information from reading your blog then I can from any book. I hope you and your family have a very Merry Christmas.

     
  • At 9:11 PM, Blogger JUST A MOM said…

    I am so sorry about your job,, it really sucks when you have your heart into something and the "system" says it is too much. I truley wish you luck with K. I am not the type who can play what I call the Mind games... I am a hugger and a make it better person . I can not handle the big jobs. You are in my thoughts and I so hope things go well.

     
  • At 7:47 AM, Blogger Amanda said…

    You are totally right about the two ways of seeing us. Although it's well intentioned I get really tired of hearing what wonderful people we are for doing this. I am so lucky to be the one parenting Lily (at least for now)

     
  • At 10:18 PM, Blogger Happy Mama to Three said…

    What a perfect time of the year for him to receive a home placement. I hope that he and his brother can maintain their relationship, and that you can build an amazing family life with him. How was Smiley's big day today? I wondered how is first Christmas with his forever family was.

    Merry Christmas to you all.

    Cindi

     
  • At 1:13 PM, Blogger Julie said…

    That is exciting that he is finally there- I hope things work out well and he settles in quick- I am sorry your school isn't what you thought it would be- maybe public school is for you too- :)

     
  • At 5:04 AM, Blogger M said…

    I totally agree with the saint/psyco thing. We're in the same boat and it gets tiring. We really don't need people commenting on our kids & foster kids EVERY time we got out.

    I'm sorry about your little Bubbles, we've been there too. It will get better and I wish you luck with K.

     

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