Christmas

On one hand, I know I should feel blessed, because this is my first Christmas as a legal mommy to Smiley.

Still, I miss both of my girls. One in heaven, and one moved to another home because of lies told to the judge by the caseworker. Earlier this week that very same caseworker calls us to take another 5 year old girl. The nerve! Gonna lie about us and rip our foster daughter away from the people who were acting as parents to her to put her in a foster home who would do as they wanted.

I want another baby girl, but I refuse to take another placement with our parish. Bubbles' attorney had asked us if we would consider taking the sister of the little boy that was killed by his father (see post titled "A Child Dies"). She said it would be temporary. What the hell?? A parent can kill one child and the caseplan is still gonna be reunification? That is just insane! I said no way I'm working with a judge that stupid. Of course, not in those exact words.

Why don't I quit all this craziness? I want another. I have two boys, and would like a girl now, or at least one more baby.

Sometimes I think about Princess. If she were still alive, she'd be almost adopted and we could close our homes and end all this madness.

I guess we'll be on this roller coaster at least 2 more years.

On the bright side, I am so enjoying my time off with Smiley. It's like a mini-maternity leave I never had.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas.