The Prize

For the last two fun-filled years of my life we've endured the following, well 3 actually:

- Dec 2003L's surgery to fix male factor infertility (semi-successful)

- Feb 2004 L's cocky urologist telling me to get off the BCP before I was ready to have children(before I found a good job and a house), because worst case scenerio was I get pg.

-May 2004 - L says he's ready for children. It didn't take anymore convincing to me!

-Late May 2004 - Throw away BCP

-July 2004 - CD36 and no period. Get excited, do 2 pee sticks, negative. See doctor who does pg test which is negative, of course. Start prometrium and get period.

-August 2004 -L's urologist/male infertility doctor suggests using ovulation test strips and coming in for an IUI when we get a positive.

-October 2004 - first failed IUI

-November 2004 - see first RE, 2nd failed IUI cycle

-Januaray 2005 - see child on TV available for adoption. L calls and attends meeting on foster care/adoption. Could not yet be certified because haven't been married 2 years yet.

-February 2005 - 3rd failed IUI cycle. RE wants to do HSG. We didn't want to be out $700, so I go see OB/Gyn.

-March-June 2005 - several failed clomid cycles. Bloodwork showed ovulation.

-July 2005 - Cough up the money for HSG. Tubes are wide open.

-September 2005 - see new Dr. in Houston. Schedules Lap because he believed my irregular bleeding was due to endometriosis.

-October 13, 2005 - Laproscopy/hysterscopy surgury. Endometriosis found and cyst on one ovary.

-November 15, 2005 - take 3 month lupron injection for Endo and go into 3 month menopause.

-December 2005 - L's friend gets call to take 3 week old baby N. We talk to social worker and see if we can take him and get certified immediately. Not able to happen. We call and start the certification process.

-February 18, 2006 - First MAPP class

-February 20, 2006 - first consult with Dr. New Orleans. Lupron still in system, wait another month before starting treatment.

-March 18, 2006 - Last MAPP class.

-March 20, 2006 - see RE again. Still no period. Decides to do injectible cycle with follistim. L not in agreement so we cancel the cycle on the way home.

-March 20-30, 2006 - Learn that baby N is still available and in a foster home but in need of adoptive resource home.

-April 2006
*presentation meeting for baby N
* 2 visits and several weekend visits with baby N cancelled.
*4/28 - first visit with baby N.

-May 2006
* 3rd - last meeting with home development worker
*18th - visit with baby N and learn suction machine
*19-21st - First weekend visit with baby N (finally)!

All the torture, pain, depression sadness.

All the red tape, tears and disappointments. . .

But today, seeing baby N, him greeting me again with another poopy diaper.

Holding and cuddling him. Calming and rocking him to sleep as he got cranky.

Baby N sound asleep in my arms.

Our first weekend visit tomorrow, with what may be our future son (and the visit has been approved).

Was it worth it? All the pain, sadness, invasion of privacy, red tape, anger, irritation....

HELL YEAH IT WAS!!!




We do it all for the prize, for the precious baby we all long for.

This will be baby N's bed. He has to sleep inclined for now. Tomorrow this very swing should have an actual baby in it!

After tomorrow morning, you may not hear from me until Monday, unless I'm just dying to write about baby N while he is napping.

This is really happening. . .