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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Stronger

Princess' loss has made me stronger. I'm not sure if that's good or bad though. I never imagined I would have the strength to take a baby that just needed a foster home and not a foster/adoptive home. Perhaps losing Princess' has toughened me up to handle more than I could.

We were stuck in court ALL DAY waiting on Smiley's case to be heard. Sitting accross the courtroom I saw Bubbles and her mom(I'm gonna call her Bubbles, because that name is just hilarous and makes me laugh, and it also reflects her real name, which is "a very odd name."). Her mom and man she was with didn't look like foster parents, so I was wondering if Bubbles was about to come into care. After lunch the supervisor asked us if we'd take a baby, just to foster, because the judge was probably gonna order her into care. I figured, "why not. let's go for it." I knew exactly which baby she was talking about.

As we were almost pulling into MIL's driveway, L got the got to go pick up Bubbles. We turned around and drove back for the 3rd time that day. When we got to the office, I learned that she had already been in care previously for failure to thrive, which she obviously has overcome now cause she's good and plump. Mom is 17, and about 5 months pregnant, and it's already Bubbles second time in care in 5 months. I also learned that mom was given the opportunity to go to the group home with her baby and she could stay with her. She refused.

I have to keep telling myself that she is going home, even though the known facts may suggest otherwise. I keep in the back of my mind "what if." If things do not work out for her, we could possibly get and adopt both babies! The chance is slim right now and still too early. Relatives may come, not sure if they'd take 2 babies that close together.

I'm enjoying Bubbles, but haven't fell head over hills yet like with Smiley and Princess. Maybe I'm protecting myself and thinking I will just have her a little while to play with, like Scooter. I hope I can let my guard down soon. Of course, I've only had her for a night. I hope this feeling passes. I want to be able to give all of myself to her for the time she's with us and I know it's wrong to want to protect my heart.

I am at work today. I just can't justify leaving now knowing she is probably going home. She's old enough for daycare, it's paid and they will transport her every other week to visits. I told her we couldn't transport every week. Now, if something happens and it looks like we will get both babies, we will have to seriously consider changing our plans.

I had the two babies in the backseat and I swore I heard them babbling to each other. Smiley crawled right up to Bubbles and starting grabbing her face(he love's playing with faces now). I think he likes her. He didn't really notice Princess, but he think's she's kinda cool.

We were asked to take the teenage girl again. We said no. I told my dad and he asked why we didn't take her. She could help us around the house and with the babies. I am a daddy's girl and I value his advice very highly. I imagined him to say we should stay away from teenager's but I was shocked to hear the suggestion to help her out. Now, I'm seriously thinking about it. He had some good points, and answers for all my arguments against it. L seems to like her. I believe she asked about staying with us in court. My heart is torn on the decision, but I want to be obedient if God is calling me to take her. I just have so many fears.

I'm gonna give fostering a try with Bubbles and if I can handle sending her back, maybe I could get used to loving lots of kids for a short time.

11 Comments:

  • At 11:57 AM, Blogger FosterAbba said…

    Despite the complaints about how bad teens can be, our experience with our teen was pretty darn good. We enjoyed the three months she was with us, and though that time ended with her running away, the entire time up to that point was filled with a lot of fun and good memories.

    I would definitely take a teen again, though I'd probably have a chat with them about the rules for running away, so that we don't have a repeat of a busted out window screen and a stolen cell phone.

     
  • At 12:48 PM, Blogger Tamara said…

    Wow - you're right where we were with a couple of babies once. 'm sure it's hard not having adoption as the goal, but its so true that we never really know. I'm just smiling so much thinking about you going to court and coming home with Bubbles! How cool is that??? She's in the best place she can be, and with day care and transportation provided and no major health issues, it's a lot easier on you, too. I'd be guarded, too. Please give her hugs and kisses for all of us - I'm glad Smiley is enjoying his new little companion!

     
  • At 1:12 PM, Blogger happyadoptingmom said…

    I love bubbles what a great name.

     
  • At 1:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    We have only taken teens as respite but they are a handful lots of opinions and needed way more supervision than our biological teens. It is hard to find someone to watch a teen after school and sometimes they are not safe left home alone even for a few hours.

     
  • At 1:51 PM, Blogger Amanda said…

    Congratulations!! I am so happy to hear that you got a little girl, even if only for a short time. Enjoy her.

     
  • At 6:22 PM, Blogger GLouise said…

    I love how you go to court and come home with a baby!

     
  • At 7:23 PM, Blogger Yondalla said…

    I do long term care for teens. The thought of taking a child younger than 14 makes me very nervous. I like taking care of teens.

    BUT, they are a lot of work. They need a lot of time. They need people to listen to them. They need rides to work, and home when they have stayed late to make up a test, and to Saturday school because they cut English twice that week, and to counseling, and to shop for the new clothes they HAVE TO HAVE because they don't have anything to wear.

    They can be moody and demanding and getting them to help around the house can take more energy than just doing the work yourself.

    My calling is definitely in caring for the teens, but don't let anyone try to convince you that they will be anything other than a different kind of work.

     
  • At 3:20 AM, Blogger Baby Blues said…

    You're definitely stronger and your heart is much bigger to accomodate more kids to love. You're amazing.

    "Bubbles" is cute, reminds me of one of the Power Puffs. :-)

     
  • At 5:32 AM, Blogger TeamWinks said…

    Wow! Now that's an exciting day!

     
  • At 8:34 AM, Blogger JUST A MOM said…

    Sorry I have been away. I will be reading backwards to catch up. I would be very carefull with a teen. We took in emergency recieving for a while, WARNING this can be an addiction. Have fun with bubbles.

     
  • At 12:18 AM, Anonymous baggage said…

    I'm confused about your secret..email me!!

     

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