The "Sac"
Ok, I'm gonna dream a little because I'm sure this scenario is impossible, but let's pretend:
What if the "sac" in my uterus wasn't fluid from the ruptured cyst,but really a pregnancy? My period hasn't really started full force yet. Yes, I had 2 negative PG tests yesterday, and if I were, it's not good news that I wouldn't have detectable amounts of HCG anyway.
Well, I'm not gonna be crazy enough to hope for the impossible, but I have started to realize how much I'd really like to become pregnant. Adopting is nice, but I still don't have any kids who are legally mine. Wouldn't it just be great if I could give birth and by just giving birth, the baby will actually be mine!
It's crazy how infertility will cause you to grasp on the craziest things for hope like:
Maybe it's not my period, just light spotting, maybe implantational bleeding.
My periods 15-20 days like...maybe I could actually be pregnant.
I'm adopting now, adoption causes pregnancy right?
The "sac" could be a baby right?
There's gonna be a second line on the pg test today...
After losing Princess, infertility really started hitting me again. I can't just have another baby(not that it would replace her). I think about all I will have to go through, and the waiting for the possibility of getting another baby I can keep.
L and I are considering another IUI. I don't know if we will go through with it, still so much money for so little success rate. I think if/when we are called for another baby, pregnancy won't be as important anymore as I'll be busy again.
What if the "sac" in my uterus wasn't fluid from the ruptured cyst,but really a pregnancy? My period hasn't really started full force yet. Yes, I had 2 negative PG tests yesterday, and if I were, it's not good news that I wouldn't have detectable amounts of HCG anyway.
Well, I'm not gonna be crazy enough to hope for the impossible, but I have started to realize how much I'd really like to become pregnant. Adopting is nice, but I still don't have any kids who are legally mine. Wouldn't it just be great if I could give birth and by just giving birth, the baby will actually be mine!
It's crazy how infertility will cause you to grasp on the craziest things for hope like:
Maybe it's not my period, just light spotting, maybe implantational bleeding.
My periods 15-20 days like...maybe I could actually be pregnant.
I'm adopting now, adoption causes pregnancy right?
The "sac" could be a baby right?
There's gonna be a second line on the pg test today...
After losing Princess, infertility really started hitting me again. I can't just have another baby(not that it would replace her). I think about all I will have to go through, and the waiting for the possibility of getting another baby I can keep.
L and I are considering another IUI. I don't know if we will go through with it, still so much money for so little success rate. I think if/when we are called for another baby, pregnancy won't be as important anymore as I'll be busy again.
posted by Lisa @ 10:10 AM
4 Comments:
At 12:37 PM,
No Longer In Crisis said…
I was thinking about pregnancy myself the other night - prob. b/c my secretary is having her baby as I type! Yup, got pg as easy as you breathe - before her wedding, of course. Who organized her office party and bought all the gifts...yup, me. I thought it would help me heal. In some ways it did, but it's just been so easy for her and it still feels unfair. I'm really sorry about your trip to the doctor - that is so scary. I keep praying for you to get a call for a "sure thing". Why does God have to work so slow sometimes?? Doesn't he know MY plan?? teeheehee
At 2:50 PM,
GLouise said…
Aww- my mind plays tricks on me sometimes too. "Maybe this will be the month," etc. Or, "Wouldn't it be ironic if I got pregnant after depositing a large sum of money with our adoption agency?" Hate those thoughts!
At 3:25 PM,
Megamom said…
I want this so badly for you, that I want to dream the impossible too. I know it doesnt make sense, but its really not fair you cant get pregnant. Still praying!
At 6:45 PM,
Runergirl said…
It's always fun to pretend, even as grown ups.
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