Another Call
L got a call for a 2 yr old boy. He's already in a foster home that is over-full, so they cannot adopt him. A relative placement potential did not work out. I don't know if TPR happened or is happening soon, but they want him in an adoptive home.
My instinct is telling me to say no. I don't know why, but our worker told us to wait for what we want and not to take a child because you are tired of waiting. I may sound selfish, but I'm waiting for either: a baby girl, boy/girl sibling set(both under 3) or a girl/girl sibling set. Infertility doesn't leave me with much control over anything, but adopting I have some choice. Sometimes I hate having the option to say "no" but I do have a choice of whether or not to take a child.
I don't feel so bad, because I'm pretty sure a 2 year old adoptive placement would be easy to place right? I can't have babies and I want a baby, or at least a baby younger than Smiley. I want him to be the oldest.
I don't know what decision we will make and we have time, because he does not have to be moved immediately. If you remember, I almost said no to Smiley many times out of fear and it worked out, so it's too early to tell.
I'm sure I'm not making any sense tonight, but I'm missing my little girl so bad tonight.
My instinct is telling me to say no. I don't know why, but our worker told us to wait for what we want and not to take a child because you are tired of waiting. I may sound selfish, but I'm waiting for either: a baby girl, boy/girl sibling set(both under 3) or a girl/girl sibling set. Infertility doesn't leave me with much control over anything, but adopting I have some choice. Sometimes I hate having the option to say "no" but I do have a choice of whether or not to take a child.
I don't feel so bad, because I'm pretty sure a 2 year old adoptive placement would be easy to place right? I can't have babies and I want a baby, or at least a baby younger than Smiley. I want him to be the oldest.
I don't know what decision we will make and we have time, because he does not have to be moved immediately. If you remember, I almost said no to Smiley many times out of fear and it worked out, so it's too early to tell.
I'm sure I'm not making any sense tonight, but I'm missing my little girl so bad tonight.
posted by Lisa @ 8:18 PM
7 Comments:
At 8:55 PM,
JUST A MOM said…
WAIT,, PLEASE WAIT!!! I woudl tell you to never take a child over a year old. The bonding is soooo chancy with this. I do have such a child came at 14 months and is 16 and we are still dealing with "stuff" You will KNOW when it is time.
At 5:19 AM,
Anonymous said…
TRUST that you are being guided. You will know when it's right.
At 5:46 AM,
Megamom said…
Prayers!
At 7:12 AM,
Anonymous said…
pray pray pray God will show you if this child is meant to be smiley's older brother. Find out how long he has been in care talk to his current foster parents before you decide.
At 8:26 AM,
Anonymous said…
Please dont beat your self up over your infertillity issues. You did nothing to deserve not being able to get pregnant, you are not bad, you do not need to do good deeds to repay some unknown debt to the world.You do not need to suffer hardships for something good to happen. Do not let being infertile define who you are like I have in the past. Know that it is ok to be angry and hurt and to want to curse at who ever you call God. It's ok to want to grow a baby inside you, to want to get pregnant just by making love and without thinking about it, to want all that is not selfish or taking anything away from your adopted kids. Be gentle with yourself and love yourself and from here on it just let life happen and unfold on it's own and throw away the map.
At 9:41 AM,
Amanda said…
I hate turning down placements, too, but I really think you've got to listen to your gut.
Good luck.
At 11:32 AM,
No Longer In Crisis said…
I'm praying for you and L. that God gives you a sense of peace and lets you know the right decision. I know whatever you choose, it will be from Him. All these calls, I strongly believe, are God's way of letting you know you're not done - that HE is still working in your family, and that you are not desperate (even if you feel that way, and trust me - I understand desperation). I LOVE how God keeps letting you know He's there - with every phone call from a social worker, He's reminding you. It is so beautiful - His faithfulness.
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