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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Counseling

First of all, no news yet on the twins. We did get a call yesterday for a newborn baby girl, the catch? She had a 16 yr old sister. Those of you who remember my exchange student experience will understand why we're not ready for teenagers.

Princess' worker called L and asked if I needed counseling. L said I'd call if I wanted to. Yes, I need someone to talk to. No, I am not going to see one of their counselors the state pays to see the bio parents and write bad reports on them. I am going to refuse. There is nothing they can say to make me feel better, and I don't need them reccommending to social services I need regular counseling so they can get another paycheck. I will simply tell her I'm getting support through our church.

She also told me that Princess' mom is still taking things VERY badly, is in solitary confinement and on watch. I know I could get in trouble for saying that, but I need your help to help her. I feel the need to try to help her. I don't know how or what I could do. We would like to send her a card. I am praying over the write words to say. I have faith that she is at a point in her life now where she could turn it around for the better. Because I love Princess so much, I love her too. I know I shouldn't this involved with my foster kid's parents, but I somehow feel drawn to do something, I just don't know what or how.

Any ideas? I really pray that she changes her life, comes back to Jesus and will get to see her little girl again one day in heaven. I'm not saying I think I can change her, or reach her, but I'm praying that if I cannot, God shows me who can and how I can get that person to reach her.

7 Comments:

  • At 7:12 AM, Blogger Amanda said…

    I don't think being concerned about her and wanting the best for her is too involved. I think it's wonderful that you can find it in your heart to reach out.

    As for the right words, I don't think I have them. Just tell her what you're feeling, you've handled all of this with grace and dignity and I don't think this will be an exception.

    And, BTW, what's with the caseworker calling your hubby to ask if you need counseling? Weird...

     
  • At 7:21 AM, Blogger sourpatchbaby said…

    Could you maybe ask your pastor to see Princess' mom? It's been a while, but I think that they allow clerics to visit them in confinement. As to what to write, I don't think we can suggest anything that would be helpful. Just allow the Holy Spirtit to fill you and put his words in your hands.
    Little Footprints

    by Dorothy Ferguson


    How very softly
    You tiptoed into our world.
    Almost silently,
    Only a moment you stayed.
    But what an imprint
    Your footsteps,
    Have left upon our hearts.

     
  • At 8:04 AM, Blogger Julie said…

    I recommend counseling if you need it- it is tough to get through this and you do need to process your feelings. Is there some "grief group" available at your church? a group or something? That would be good- a place where you could talk with others who are grieving the loss of loved ones too. Other than that- I think the blog is a great place for you to get your feelings out! Bless your heart- it is just going to be hard for a while. Praying for you all!

     
  • At 8:18 AM, Blogger Dream Mommy said…

    sourpatch,

    that poem was on the memory book the hospital gave us. They put her handprints, footprints and a lock of hair in the book. I later added pictures and other stuff.

     
  • At 12:32 PM, Blogger Tamara said…

    FWIW - I wouldn't want any record of counseling anywhere until after you adopt. So, private counseling you pay for - sure. Your church or support groups - sure. But not the state - anything a biofamily can grab onto to say "see...this person is X,y, or z" just isn't worth risking. That being said, Michael and I found marriage counseling to be awesome - but we did it privately to deal with issues of intertility and loss and stress of being foster parents. It was salvation for our marriage, but we got a good counselor. Just my 2 cents...as for birth mom, I'll have to give that more thought.

     
  • At 4:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I second find out if any church near you has a prison ministry and ask them to visit her. She must be feeling such guilt over her actions during her pregnancy I will continue to pry for her and your family

     
  • At 4:56 PM, Blogger Just another Jenny said…

    I think that praying for her is a good step. I like the suggestion of having a pastor speak to her. Your level of concern for her shows what a compassionate person you are.

     

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