Let's Play A Game
As most of you probably already know, this Saturday is my baby/adoption shower. I think the hostesses sent out about 100 invitations! I forgot I knew that many people!
Anyway, I'm sure my infertility will be a hot topic, and I'll get the well-intentioned assvice and comments. Of course, I will grin and bear it, since attending my shower means they are supporting my adoption and welcoming my precious baby to the family.
Alright, this is a very easy game, and leave your guesses in my comments. How many times will I hear the following remark:
"1. Now that you're adopting, you know you're gonna get pregnant."
I will recognize the winner as soon after my shower as baby N lets me have computer time.
Oh, in case of a tie, here's the tie breaker question...how many times will someone ask...
"2. Was his mom on drugs?"
My guess, question 1: at least 15 times
Question 2: 5 times
Oh shit, that means I have to keep tally at my shower. Oh well, at leasting counting will keep me from snapping back.
Oh, another thing, MIL will not be coming to the shower but sending a gift. L says she's bought lots of stuff for him(God Bless her, I've never bought diapers or wipes because she keeps me stocked up). Anyway, I told L it's not the gifts, it's the support.
Really, I mean that. Just by attending, I know they are supporting me and it means a lot to me. I guess I'll let it slide, she has babysat every afternoon(after that one bad day) and would not take money.
Don't forget to leave a guess for question 1 & 2!
Anyway, I'm sure my infertility will be a hot topic, and I'll get the well-intentioned assvice and comments. Of course, I will grin and bear it, since attending my shower means they are supporting my adoption and welcoming my precious baby to the family.
Alright, this is a very easy game, and leave your guesses in my comments. How many times will I hear the following remark:
"1. Now that you're adopting, you know you're gonna get pregnant."
I will recognize the winner as soon after my shower as baby N lets me have computer time.
Oh, in case of a tie, here's the tie breaker question...how many times will someone ask...
"2. Was his mom on drugs?"
My guess, question 1: at least 15 times
Question 2: 5 times
Oh shit, that means I have to keep tally at my shower. Oh well, at leasting counting will keep me from snapping back.
Oh, another thing, MIL will not be coming to the shower but sending a gift. L says she's bought lots of stuff for him(God Bless her, I've never bought diapers or wipes because she keeps me stocked up). Anyway, I told L it's not the gifts, it's the support.
Really, I mean that. Just by attending, I know they are supporting me and it means a lot to me. I guess I'll let it slide, she has babysat every afternoon(after that one bad day) and would not take money.
Don't forget to leave a guess for question 1 & 2!
posted by Lisa @ 5:51 AM
8 Comments:
At 6:29 AM,
Anonymous said…
Gotta love those DUMB questions. I bet you'll get asked at least once if the IF issues are because of you or your husband. We did IVF to have our 3 year old son. I always get, "Now that you've been pregnant once, you'll just pop up pregnant on your own when you least expect it." Ya, right!! Ok.... I'll say 12 you'll get pregnant now that you'e adopting & 6 was his mom on drugs. Have fun!!
-Carolyn M.
At 7:18 AM,
Julie said…
You'll get preg.... 8-- was mom on drugs...12 :) I get that 95% of the time people meet SB. don't you know- all foster babies come from drug moms? (she says sarcastically)
At 9:17 AM,
FosterAbba said…
People ask insensitive questions because they simply don't know any better. Since we've been doing foster care, we've been on the receiving end of a few dopey questions. Depending on the level of stupidness, we either answer them (and use the question as an educational moment for the parties involved) or pop off with a smart answer that leaves people with nothing else to say.
I don't believe, in most cases, that people deliberately ask insensitive questions or make hurtful remarks. A lot of people simply don't know, and they don't understand. Unless someone walks a mile in your shoes, they will never truly understand your situation. As half of a same-sex fostering couple, we get plenty of stupid questions and comments. We deal with them by trying to develop a thick skin, and using those moments to educate people.
As for the question about whether or not the biological mother used drugs, it's a sad statistic in our county that about 80% of the children brought into foster care are there because of parental drug and/or alcohol abuse. I'd say the percentage for babies in our county is even higher, because they test all babies at birth for drugs. If an infant comes up positive, they are automatically removed.
Unfortunately, some of the insensitive questions people ask reflect the harsh reality of adopting from the foster care system. Both our foster daughters have come from families where drug abuse is rampant among family members. Although drugs weren't the primary reason our girls were brought into foster care, it certainly was a contributing factor.
At 12:10 PM,
GLouise said…
Good grief.
why don't you turn it into one of those "Bingo" games? ;-)
I'd be willing to bet on 12-15 for the "now you'll get pregnant" comments.
Maybe you can keep the "well, that only happens to 5% of couples, although that is obviously something that would be wonderful!"
Have fun at the shower! And make sure they take lots of pics.
At 12:44 PM,
x said…
If there are 100 people than I will guess 99 times for #1 and 50 times for #2. People can't help but to let that kind of stupid crap fall out of there mouths. Have a great time, I hope you get a mountian of great stuff.
At 12:50 PM,
Michelle said…
i say 13 votes for #1
and 17 votes for #2
unfortunately...most people think children ARE in foster care due to biological parent drug use....well I guess maybe a majority of them are!!! Have fun you deserve it Mommy!!!!!
Michelle
My Chosen Child
At 1:26 PM,
No Longer In Crisis said…
Oooh - THIS is so much fun! OK, for q #1 guess 7, for q #2 I guess 9. Overall, I think more will ask about the drug thing than will say the dumb-ass pregnancy thing - but I think I sometimes have more faith in humanity than I should. I hope it is a smashingly grand party!
At 2:07 PM,
Anonymous said…
My guess is 10 each for #1 and #2.
Hope you and all guests have a wonderful fun time, no matter what dopey questions you get asked.
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