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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Day Long Home Visit

First, a quick update on baby N. Yes, I'm afraid there is MORE red tape! Now, foster mom has suggested bringing baby N, a nurse, and all his "equipment" to our house to spend a day with him. She would rather the nurse show me how to use the equipment. Social worker agrees. I asked her if this will be the last thing that will require both of us to take an entire day of work off and she said probably so. One of us has to keep a job.

Since I cannot go on Friday (because someone already had to postpone time off from the last Friday I went), and L can't do it Thursday, we are shooting for Monday, then taking him the following weekend, so that, according to the social worker, we can still back out!

I am SO frustrated! Social worker keeps thanking me for my patience, but I'm seriously running out! I've about had it! She thought I sounded stressed about something and I told her I was. For the last 3 weeks, while they were piddling, I could have missed work almost any day. Now that they are FINALLY trying to do something, we are approaching MY busy time at work, and I am gonna have hell trying to get away! She said she understood but has to follow protocal.

I told her we need to break through this red tape by early next week because I'm getting to my busy time of the month. She promised that if foster mom was unavailable that day, she would transport baby N and the nurse to our house, and have the nurse go over everything with us.

I thought we'd get to bypass the weekend visit since we've been through so much crap already, but she wants us to experience one of baby N's "bad" nights to make sure we can handle it. It's like they are giving us so much room to back out. Do they think we will change our minds? Not likely!

You know what really pisses me off though? I'm gonna finish this day long visit, and then they are gonna throw in something else!

In other news, our home development worker is going this afternoon to finish our home study. I didn't have many questions during the first visit, but now that we are expecting a placement, I have plenty questions.

Our last MAPP class was March 18 and she is just getting to visit our home visit today!

I don't know how much more I can handle!


  • At 7:17 AM, Blogger Just another Jenny said…

    You patience is being stretched to insane limits. I cannot even imagine you backing out, no matter how bad a bad night is. Will we get a picture once he is all yours? I hope so!

  • At 9:04 AM, Anonymous Julie said…

    I think I would be on the verge of screaming... If I hadn't already. *sighs*... Can't wait until he's yours!

    Will you be able to take a maternity leave once you have him?

  • At 9:47 AM, Blogger Julie said…

    YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!! Can't they just schedule this for a Saturday. I mean what is the point of doing this on a weekday? His needs are the same 7 days a week! If foster mom is so concerned- she should bend a little and let you have the "training" she thinks you need when it is good for you! ARGH- since when does the foster mom get to have so much say ? I would love a system like that!!!!! hang in there!!! This is not all for nothing!!

  • At 10:52 AM, Blogger Dream Mommy said…

    It has to be a weekday because they want the nurse to be their all day.

    As far as pictures go, after parental rights are terminated I'll do a post asking for email addresses of those wanting pictures. I will probably email pictures only to the people I know. The last thing I want is the state questioning why his photos are all over the web.

  • At 11:58 AM, Anonymous said…

    You know I want a pic, right?!!!

    Here's total a$$vice for you:

    Maybe you could put something in writing (so it will be made part of his file) stating that you "are concerned about the welfare of N. and that his best interests are not being served through these continued delays. Bonding is very important, and every delay means that much more difficult of an adjustment for baby N."

    The term "best interests of the child" is actually a term of art which should ring some bells with the paper-pushers powers that be.

    Why does the Nurse have to be there all day? Can't she come to your home for an hour to show you the ropes? You could even offer to pay for the hour if she came Sat morning, so you could then have the weekend with him??

    Thoughts, anyway. I'm sorry you are in limbo.


  • At 12:35 PM, Blogger soralis said…

    I am so sorry you are going through such a freaking mess! Hope everything works out for monday!

    Take care

  • At 12:41 PM, Blogger Jo said…

    Oh frustrating! I am sorry about all the waitng. But I think worse than the waiting is feeling like what everyone ELSE wants done, (foster mom, social worker) counts for way more than what you want! I mean for heaven's sake, you are the expectant mother. And they say adoption is the easy way! Anyone who says that has never adopted... grrr for you!

  • At 2:55 PM, Blogger Ornery said…

    All this bureaucracy is becoming absolutely ridiculous! I am feeling so incredibly frustrated for you. I truly, truly hope that the end of all this red tape is near.

  • At 4:25 PM, Blogger Dream Mommy said…

    Nurse, social worker, and foster mom have to be there all day, period. I don't get a say, it's just a hurdle we have to go through.

    As much as I am looking forward to skipping work to play with baby N, I will have an audience the entire day. I guess I have to feed them all too huh?

    Foster mom wants to check my home out. They won't step on her toes because she takes in special needs kids.

    I don't get a choice:

    day long visit, followed by a weekend visit....take it or leave it!


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