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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Love At First Sight.(now updated with more details)

Now updated with more details. Sorry for being skimpy earlier.

I waited outside the social services building with our worker, watching every car, waiting to finally meet baby N. I felt like a kid waiting to see my mom's car drive up and pick me up at daycare.

Foster mom, nurse and baby in are brought into the visiting room. I see baby N and pick him up. Love at first sight, just like I had just given birth to him, except it felt kinda weird having a supervised visit. Would have been teary eyed had we been alone.

After giving foster mom a puppy dog face and her telling me to pick him up, I grabbed him, sat down and looked into the eyes of the baby boy who will probably be my future son. Had to bite my tongue and resist the urge to say "Come see mommy." I did slip up and say "go see Daddy."

He is PRECIOUS!! So sweet. So cuddly. He was dressed in an adorable blue froggy outfit. He smelt so fresh, just like a baby. He was so soft, has the double chin thing going on weighing in at nearly 16 pounds! I keep this really gonna be MY baby? I would be honored to be his mommy. He is so much cuter in person and the lip doesn't look nearly as bad when you see him.

I eventually decided I had to share and asked L if he wanted to hold him, so I start baby talking like a fool to him while L was holding him and baby N made a nice poopy diaper, which I later got to change while L gladly stepped away and let "mommy" handle that task. He's a healthy little baby, chunky. So many rolls I had a hard time getting him clean. Now who in there right mind would be thrilled to change a poopy diaper? An infertile woman, that's who!

It was just hard visiting my hopefully future son with an audience. I would look for approval whatever I did.

We took pictures, but not nearly enough. His nurse showed me how to work the feeding tube. It's very easy. The nurse asked if I'd like to feed him but foster mom didn't think it was a good idea. I told nurse I'd just watch and learn. I opened the little port in his tummy, hooked up the tube and nurse syringed the formula in. That simple. I tried to burp him, but he was being stubborn. It was cool watching his face go from hungry to full as his tummy was filling up.

The next step is to go to foster mom's house to learn how to work a suction machine if he spits up. I ask foster mom when we can set this up and was kinda shrugged off. Looks like social worker will have to set this up too, so that means more delays!

Foster mom was pretty nice and a little more comfortable seeing how baby N took to us well, but not ready to help get him into our home. I have a feeling the social worker is just gonna have to pull him from her home and bring him to us.

There is really no good reason we couldn't have taken him this weekend. Why couldn't she bring the portable machine and show us how to work it?

I didn't want to let him go. Hopefully, we will get him soon. The waiting sucks!


  • At 12:49 PM, Blogger Just another Jenny said…

    I'm so glad you finally got to hold him. He must have been so warm in your arms. Once that paper work is done I'm going to have to create an "arrived" section in my blog just for you! Aren't you special!

  • At 1:36 PM, Blogger Michelle said…

    Oh yay!! I am soo glad you guys finally got to meet him!! That is so exciting..Hopefully the foster mom will start to cooperate more..why did she think think it wouldnt be a good idea for you to feed him???? thats crazy...the suction machines are normally no big deal either...congrats!! cant wait to hear more

    My Chosen CHild

  • At 1:47 PM, Blogger Julie said…

    That is soooooo great!!! I can just imagine how wonderful it was just to finally meet him! I can't believe he couldn't go home with you- I thought the foster mom didn't want to adopt him? What is her resistance about? hum... I know she is scared- believe me- I KNOW but surely she has to trust that you will learn just like she did!! I am sad for you that you didn't get him for the weekend- I was so looking forward to this for you! and hearing all about it! What is up with the social worker????

  • At 2:21 PM, Blogger GLouise said…


  • At 2:45 PM, Blogger Ornery said…

    Yay! I'm so happy that you finally met baby N. He sounds absolutely adorable, so much so that I didn't want you to stop writing about him!

    How frustrating that he will not be able to go home with you right away. I hope the foster mom becomes more cooperative over time, and that baby N will be in your arms again very, very soon!

  • At 3:18 PM, Blogger Nique said…

    Lisa that is so good that you got to meet baby N and you sound so happy about meeting him. Praying all goes well with the adoption.

  • At 3:49 PM, Blogger Kitkat said…

    YAY! So glad you finally got to meet Baby N and had a good visit. Do wish foster mom wasn't being such a pain for you though. Does she not realize you want the best for that little boy... just as much (if not more) than she does!?!

    Praying he is with you soon...

  • At 4:52 PM, Anonymous Jane said…

    Beautiful, beautiful.

    Any chance for next weekend with him?

  • At 5:12 PM, Blogger Maya said…

    Wonderful. It sounds like you are getting closer. I would hope, but can't say for sure, that I'd be any better than foster mom is being. I sure wouldn't want to let the little guy go, but it would make me feel so much better knowing that he has someone loving like you to spend forever with.
    I hope the next stages progress much faster

  • At 5:55 PM, Anonymous Natalie said…

    That is so awesome! I would have been totally intimidated but it sounds like you are a natural. I have this great picture in my head of your love at first sight with you and baby N and that is what I hope it will be like when we adopt (because DH wants to adopt regardless of what might come of this fertility stuff). :)


  • At 6:34 PM, Blogger Tamara said…

    Oh what a wondreful experience! I know it had to be scary for foster mom, and I hope it gets easier for her to let go. FYI - I wa soooo looking forward to hearing how it went that I logged in at home at 9 at night "just to check" - so glad I did! He WILL be yours soon. :)

  • At 6:36 PM, Blogger Jo said…

    Oh my, I am all teary eyed reading. How I remember that day with Little Man when the social worker brought him to us. Amazing, it was simply amazing. So excited for you guys! Thanks for posting so quick.

  • At 10:03 PM, Blogger soralis said…

    I am so glad that you got to hold him! What a special day. I sure hope you get to bring him home with you soon. He will be in a place with so much love. Kind of like expecting you have to wait a little while to bring him home I guess.

    Take care

  • At 10:58 PM, Anonymous Julie said…

    I'm so happy that you got to meet and hold Baby N... Sounds to me that the foster mom is attached, and not wanting to let go? *shrugs*

    I'm hanging on a thread here, waiting to hear how your story turns out! :)

    Julie (the other one! ;) )

  • At 9:19 AM, Blogger Dream Mommy said…

    I know foster mom is attached, but she said she adopted 8 kids already and foster 326 over 20 years. Why is she being a pain with this particular kid? She told social worker from the beginning she couldn't keep him.

    I know if I were pregnant, I'd have to wait 9 months, but I wouldn't miss any of the baby's life like I am with baby N.

    Unfortunately, your guess is as good as mine as for when he will get to stay with us overnight or permanently.

  • At 6:46 AM, Blogger FosterMommy said…

    I'm glad things are working out so well for you guys.
    N's foster mom sounds so much like my FD's previous foster mom. She didn't want to do the transition at all. She wanted to adopt her. But she's already adopted 4 or 5 and the county says she can't adopt any more.
    So when we took Niblet for her first overnight with us, the FM just told us to keep her, that she didn't want her back, that it was too painful.

    Well, of course we kept her, but it would have been better for THE BABY if she'd been able to see the FM again after that! It was the only family she'd known her whole life - 4 months with them - after the NICU.

    Fortunately, the baby bonded with us quickly and was fine. The county keeps putting up with this FM's crap because she's so available, but someday she's going to harm a child emotionally because she "can't handle it".


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