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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Glad to be an American

Ok, getting a feeling of what birthparent contact will be like through my exchange student. I'm gonna start just calling her S, even though I used her name before.

S's father asked me to remind her to email him every Friday and call every Saturday evening. S made her afternoon phone call and got off the phone very upset. Her father is once again, trying to interfere with our household here. When he signed her up for the program, he signed a release basically giving responsibility and guardianship to the agency. They ARE NOT allow to interfere with how host families run their households. He told her the following things that kinda pissed me off.

1. I sent you here to learn English, so I want you to do an afterschool program so you can speak more English.

2. I don't like you coming home in the evenings after school and doing nothing. (Um, hello, she's doing homework and experiencing American Culture).

3. I didn't send you over here to play, which poor S is in tears telling me that.

Ok, first of all, like I told her, she is not playing, she is going to school. I told her she was doing very well in school(except biology, but that's a tough class) and that her English is getting really good.

I told S that we are her parents while she is here, and although, I'd like her to attend family functions (church, etc), go to school, keep her grades up, but after that's all done, she can do what SHE wants to do with her free time.

I am not forcing her to join an afterschool activity because the only thing after school is sports and band. She is not good in sports and does not play an instrument. I am not subjecting her to joining a sport team that she is not good at only to get teased.

I told her to tell her father that I'm only allowing her one hour a week on the internet and one phone call every other Saturday and she could blame me (because technically they are only supposed to call home once a month to prevent this problem). She seemed a little relieved. I told her again that she was doing very well and didn't have to do anything she didn't want to.

I hope things start working out better. Thanks for letting me vent and actually reading it.

5 Comments:

  • At 11:49 AM, Anonymous Lori said…

    I'm sorry to hear S is getting so much pressure from her father. It sounds like you're doing a great job letting her figure out for herself what she's interested in doing and not forcing her into certain activities.

     
  • At 4:32 PM, Blogger Sunnie said…

    That's right! You're the momma, at least until she goes back! What a good support you are to S.

     
  • At 8:39 AM, Blogger Just another Jenny said…

    Sounds like your going to make a great mom someday. That is very nice of you to play the "bad cop" so S can be the "good cop" with her dad.

     
  • At 10:50 AM, Blogger GLouise said…

    Wow- poor S must be under a lot of stress from her parents. Yikes!

     
  • At 1:12 PM, Blogger Michelle said…

    That is so sad. I wonder what it is like for her when is is home full time...you will make a good mommy


    Michelle
    My Chosen Child

     

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