Fosterparents Feelings Do not matter
Guess what I learned at MAPP yesterday? Guess what our lovely home development worker, who we'll call M (and who is doing our homestudy) said:
M: I am SO SICK of hearing people say they don't want to foster because they are afraid of the child going back to the parents! That is so selfish. I am not worried about your loss because ya'll have ways to cope and the children do not.
Ok, I see her point about not wanting to hurt the children, but why do you have to be so DAMN HARSH! We have been through pain too! Lots of pain!
How many negative peesticks have we wept over?
How many times were we in tears near the end of an IUI/IVF cycle and AF shows?
I had dye shot up my uterus while trying to turn and pose for the camera.
I went out of state and had an operation to try to be a mommy. I woke up nauseted, and had to drink almost a gallon of water so I could give them a bucket of pee so they would let me go home.
I have to pee so bad on the way back to L's aunt's house that we had to stop 3 times in the 20 minute drive and I was in pain from having to go so bad.
Menopause at age 26.
Three months later, still in menopause.
It's ok though, because I should be able to take a kid that may be returned to his drug head parents, because my life is just perfect and it doesn't matter if I get my heart broken.
Ok, I'm done ranting. I am prepared for losing a child, but did you have to be so INSENSITIVE about it!
M: I am SO SICK of hearing people say they don't want to foster because they are afraid of the child going back to the parents! That is so selfish. I am not worried about your loss because ya'll have ways to cope and the children do not.
Ok, I see her point about not wanting to hurt the children, but why do you have to be so DAMN HARSH! We have been through pain too! Lots of pain!
How many negative peesticks have we wept over?
How many times were we in tears near the end of an IUI/IVF cycle and AF shows?
I had dye shot up my uterus while trying to turn and pose for the camera.
I went out of state and had an operation to try to be a mommy. I woke up nauseted, and had to drink almost a gallon of water so I could give them a bucket of pee so they would let me go home.
I have to pee so bad on the way back to L's aunt's house that we had to stop 3 times in the 20 minute drive and I was in pain from having to go so bad.
Menopause at age 26.
Three months later, still in menopause.
It's ok though, because I should be able to take a kid that may be returned to his drug head parents, because my life is just perfect and it doesn't matter if I get my heart broken.
Ok, I'm done ranting. I am prepared for losing a child, but did you have to be so INSENSITIVE about it!
posted by Lisa @ 10:36 AM
4 Comments:
At 1:03 PM,
seattlegal said…
That is incredibly insensitive!
At 4:21 PM,
GLouise said…
Wow- what a lovely thought from the social worker!
We have considered fostering, and have friends who have also done foster-adopt succesfully. Through their observations and experiences, it is amazing to see the depths the social system will go to "reunite" kids with bad parents. Now how is THAT in the best interest of the child?!
Due to some of the stories I have heard, I've also considered doing training to be a "CASA," the court appointed child advocate.
Best wishes to you with the IF stuff, and this foster to adopt program. You clearly have a heart for children!
At 8:54 AM,
No Longer In Crisis said…
Wow - I guess it's a no-brainer that she/he had never suffered through the pain or infertility OR had a child in their home that they had to say good bye to - for ANY reason. Man, our county has a support group of foster parents for just that reason. Geez - what a winner.
At 9:39 AM,
Jen said…
I'm glad you ranted. That was incredibly insensitive of M to speak so harshly of foster parents. I'm so sorry you had to endure that.
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