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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Monday, February 19, 2007

What Goes Around Comes Around

I don't remember how much I posted about our fight to have a respectful funeral and burial for our daughter, but there was a particular heartless supervisor who fought us every step of the way. I'll be evil, and call her Witch for this post.

I don't have the energy to go into details of all the bitchy and heartless things she said and did at this terrible time, but if you email Robin, she won't hold her tongue.

Basically she wanted us to step aside and let the state give her a crappy burial consisting of putting her in a box, letting the immediate family briefly see her, burying her and letting go of balloons. No funeral service, no embalming, no viewing, nothing. She told us these things can get expensive and we need to back away and don't act emotionally.

A more tactful approach could have been as simple as this: "Ok, L & L, the state can pay X dollars maximum toward the funeral. Don't feel like you have to pay the rest, but if you would like services beyond the state allowance, you and the bio family work out paying for the difference."

How hard would that have been to say? The more I got to know Witch, the more I believe she didn't want the service because she didn't want to have to spend all day attending the service! I didn't need her there! Drop off the check and leave if that's your attitude.

If all that weren't enough. Robin informed me of a nice little comment she made while everyone was gathered at the gravesite. L took a shovel and helped bury our daughter! I couldn't even imagine doing that, but it helped him have closure.

Witch's remark, "Are we just gonna stand out here all day!" She then got in her car and waited.

The news today, Witch has been forced to resign! She was retiring anyway, but they decided to speed up the process.

With that attitude she doesn't need to work there.


  • At 11:35 AM, Blogger Julie said…

    OMG!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE EVEN LASTED THAT LONG!! What a freak- I would make a formal complaint anyway. That is insane. Foster parents are people too Crella Supervisor! I am sorry on top of everything else- you had to deal with her!

  • At 12:36 PM, Blogger Robin said…

    Thank GOD she is gone and no one else will ever have to deal with her cold hearted comments again! I'm going to call her what she really is, a BITCH.
    And yes, I will not hold back on my feelings about her, and I did call and make a formal complaint early this morning because no matter which family I was there for her comment was inappropriate and hurtful! We were there to celebrate and remember princess’s life and mourn her passing, and all this woman was doing was tainting the services. I’m just glad to see that justice has been served!

    L, call me if you need anything!

  • At 12:45 PM, Anonymous Angel said…

    That is so sad that that was that lady's attitude about a child! I mean, I don't care how burned out you are at your job... that's just horrible! And how could she expect you to NOT be emotional when the child you were raising had passed away! If they are looking for people who are unemotional to be foster parents, they're being unfair to the kids!

    - Angel

  • At 12:47 PM, Anonymous Jane said…

    If she acted that way towards you, I am sure she has acted similarly to other families. How merciless and horrible. All I can think of is, "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brethren, that you do unto Me." That kind of behavior certainly isn't Christian, and it's barely even human.

  • At 3:52 PM, Blogger Amanda said…

    Sick. That's all I can think of. I'm sorry you were subjected to THIS on top of everything else.

    Only knowing what I read here, I'd have to agree with Robin. Bitch is much more appropriate.

  • At 6:43 PM, Blogger TeamWinks said…

    She should have just kept her mouth shut, or done as you said drop the check and leave. As the worker who is teaching our class said, "When your heart becomes numb to the pain, you need to quit."

  • At 7:36 PM, Blogger Renee, said…

    Honey shes only been gone for less than a week. Give yourself time to grieve and be gentle with yourself. My thoughts are with you.

  • At 8:49 PM, Blogger Baby Blues said…

    Wicked, wicked Witch! I couldn't believe how totally insensitive she is during a very emotional time.

  • At 9:47 PM, Blogger JUST A MOM said…

    I am so sorry to say this BUT in my 10 years in our system here in Arizona. I found that most of the people along with the SYSTEM just don't care. The babies are numbers and I thinkk ,, they think, the farther from letting it get to them the better. SAD Very sad.I some times think the old Orphanages were better.

    Hang in there.

  • At 6:11 AM, Blogger soralis said…

    How unbelievably horrible. I can't believe you had to deal with that after what you just went through. I am glad to hear she was forced to leave.

  • At 9:59 AM, Blogger chris said…

    What a horrible woman. I hope she gets blisters on her bunyuns.

    Thinking of you everyday. My prayers are with you and your family.


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