Funeral Arrangements
First of all I want to thank everyone for their support and everyone who directed people to visit and pray for us. The support has deeply touched me. It helps the tears flow, and the healing process.
As part of our closure, we felt we needed to visit Princess' mom in jail and tell her how much her little girl was loved and cared for. She breaks down in tears saying how thankful she was that we were there for her baby and how sorry she was that she wasn't. I really feel bad for her. She doesn't blame us, but she is living with the fact that her choices killed her little girl. She told us she didn't mind us helping with the funeral arrangements and we had just as much right as her family did. This pissed off the supervisor, because she was trying to get us to back away from planning the funeral saying we were only thinking with our heart and not our heads. I felt a sense of peace after leaving and I'm glad we made the visit. I told her we baptized her baby and she was very grateful.
Anyway, the funeral will be on Friday. Viewing will be from 8-12 with service starting at noon. After making the arrangements, I finally got some of my apetite back and had my first meal since she passed away.
I am surviving now, but I know I will be a mess again Friday. I can't even call anyone to tell them the news. I can write about it, but I just can't say my little girl died.
As part of our closure, we felt we needed to visit Princess' mom in jail and tell her how much her little girl was loved and cared for. She breaks down in tears saying how thankful she was that we were there for her baby and how sorry she was that she wasn't. I really feel bad for her. She doesn't blame us, but she is living with the fact that her choices killed her little girl. She told us she didn't mind us helping with the funeral arrangements and we had just as much right as her family did. This pissed off the supervisor, because she was trying to get us to back away from planning the funeral saying we were only thinking with our heart and not our heads. I felt a sense of peace after leaving and I'm glad we made the visit. I told her we baptized her baby and she was very grateful.
Anyway, the funeral will be on Friday. Viewing will be from 8-12 with service starting at noon. After making the arrangements, I finally got some of my apetite back and had my first meal since she passed away.
I am surviving now, but I know I will be a mess again Friday. I can't even call anyone to tell them the news. I can write about it, but I just can't say my little girl died.
posted by Lisa @ 7:05 PM
2 Comments:
At 10:13 AM,
Anonymous said…
I came over from FosterAbba (I lurk there).
Just wanted you to know that you and your family and Princess' birth family are in my prayers.
I'm glad that you are being allowed to participate in saying goodbye to your little one.
At 3:38 PM,
CAGB said…
It is wonderful that you are taking part in planning the funeral. Much like other "big days", it has the potential to be painful and yet somehow beautiful in your memories. Our prayers are certainly with you, and my little girl is welcoming yours to heaven. Of that, I am sure.
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