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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

They Took Her Body

When a foster child passes, the bio family gets to take care of the funeral arrangements. If they cannot, the foster family may step in and the state last if noone else takes responsibility.

The funeral and plot will be over 2 hours from my home to accommodate her biological family who have not made ANY effort whatsoever to see her, or even ask about her. The state said they wouldn't do public viewing because it was too expensive and wasn't buying her a casket, but going to wrap her in a cloth and bury her! That's just cruel. We offered to pay for viewing and the casket and they are letting us buy her a casket at least. My baby girl will be buried so far away. I think we can bring our priest, but the funeral must take place in the family's home town.

"mom" and "dad" will get a pass out of jail for the funeral. I don't know when it will take place,but will be a while as they arrange both parents to get out of jail.

We did call the priest and he did an emergency baptism on Princess. Baptism is supposed to be a happy time, but was crying the whole time. I figured "screw the state." I would have to take it up with the man upstairs if I didn't allow him to baptise her because of stupid rules.

We have her baptismal robe and will be listed as parents on the certificate. They hospital also did a memory book with footprints and handprints and a lock of hair. I asked them to do one for mom also.

I am torn now about her bio mom between being angry at her for doing this to her baby and feeling bad for her loss.

Right now I am picking out an outfit and washing it for her to be buried. That's when it really hit me. The first time it really hit me is when we asked them to remove her body and take it downstairs. While holding her, I just wanted to imagine she was sleeping and would wake soon.

Well, that's all the energy I have for now. Thanks for all the prayers and support. I pray none of you EVER have to go through this.

22 Comments:

  • At 9:17 AM, Blogger Julie said…

    I am just so sorry- breathless. I am praying for you- please let me know the funeral details. Praying for you and your family.

     
  • At 9:27 AM, Blogger GLouise said…

    This just takes my breath away.

    Holding you guys in prayer today...

     
  • At 9:45 AM, Blogger Tamara said…

    I'm still here, hun - and still praying. You honored the Lord with your faithfulness in baptism and with your selfless acts of love. I am there with you in spirit. The Lord is with you, and will never leave you. Hold on to Him, and each other.

     
  • At 9:54 AM, Blogger MJ said…

    I cannot believe the crazy regulations you are having to deal with on top of intense grief. Still praying!

     
  • At 10:08 AM, Blogger Tanner said…

    I'm so sorry for the pain you are in. You are a wonderful person. Best to you during this hard time.

     
  • At 10:50 AM, Blogger Heather said…

    I am sorry she will be so far away but I am glad they aren't trying to stop you from being there. I hate that on top of everything else you have to deal with all this red tape.

     
  • At 10:58 AM, Anonymous Leisa said…

    I'm am SO sorry to hear about the baby. I can't imagine your pain. I'll say extra prayers for you and your family.

     
  • At 11:01 AM, Blogger Amanda said…

    I can't even imagine dealing with bureacratic crap on top of everything else.

    Again, I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say.

     
  • At 11:05 AM, Blogger Katrina said…

    My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry. I know those words are just words and don't lessen your pain, but they are all I have. I will say a prayer for you and your family.

     
  • At 12:24 PM, Anonymous baggage said…

    Thinking of you..

     
  • At 12:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    She is healthy and playing at the Father's feet! xo

     
  • At 12:55 PM, Blogger Just another Jenny said…

    I am so very sorry for your loss. Your family and dear princess will be in my prayers. I can only imagine the pain this loss has caused. Princess was able to know what real love is during her short life, thanks to you and your family. God bless her little soul.

     
  • At 1:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am so sorry for your loss.
    I can't begin to imagine what you are feeling right now.
    You are in my prayers.

    ~Sarah

     
  • At 1:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I came over from Baggage to grieve with you. I am so very sorry. She was a beautiful baby. Keeping you all in my thoughts....

    Karen
    Stiletto

     
  • At 2:47 PM, Blogger Granny said…

    I came over from Baggage to tell you how very sorry I am.

    I can't imagaine anything worse than losing a child. You'll be in my prayers.

     
  • At 2:48 PM, Blogger Nique said…

    Dear Lisa

    As I said in the email I am so sorry for the loss of little princess. I remember going through picking an outfit for William's funeral we actually went and bought one and I just remember how surreal it felt going to shop for my son's funeral outfit.

    My heart goes out to you and L. I know I am to far to phone but feel free to email me anytime with whatever feelings you are feeling.

     
  • At 6:01 PM, Blogger Bumble said…

    Babyblues sent me over. I'm so so sorry about the loss of your baby. There's nothing I can say to make you feel better. You're in my thoughts xxx

     
  • At 6:38 PM, Blogger Kris said…

    I am so terribly sorry for your loss of that sweet baby girl. I wish I had some appropriate words but there just are none. This is just so sad and unfair.

     
  • At 7:00 PM, Blogger Sue said…

    i am so sorry. this is so awful. i am heartbroken for you. and so sad that all these terrible regulations are doing the wrong thing by you - the only parents who loved this child and gave her a home. i am glad that the church stepped up and did the right thing. thank God for that. i am so sad for you. so very sad.

     
  • At 1:09 PM, Blogger Gawdessness said…

    You are an amazing woman and I am so glad that you went and told Princess's birth mother and that you are allowed to think with your heart on this.
    Peace to you all.

     
  • At 11:21 PM, Anonymous cluttergirl said…

    I came back to see how you are doing. I am glad you stepped in and got to do what you feel is right for Princess, rules or no rules. How hard it must be. I am so glad also to read of the birthmom's blessing for you to be involved in the funeral. It is so important I think... for the living, funerals that is. A time to say goodbye. To acknowledge the love and happiness and grief and pain and loss, all of it. I am so sorry. I cannot imagine how I would feel after infertility, on the road to adoption, a baby in my home and losing her. I wish you strength, and the time for life to let you heal. And to find happiness and family in the future. Thankyou for putting her picture on her blog. That sweet baby was loved so much in her short life. That can only be good.

     
  • At 11:33 AM, Anonymous Jennifer said…

    I just found your site and I am so so sorry for your loss!!
    Please know my prayers are with you.

     

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