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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Funeral Arrangements

First of all I want to thank everyone for their support and everyone who directed people to visit and pray for us. The support has deeply touched me. It helps the tears flow, and the healing process.

As part of our closure, we felt we needed to visit Princess' mom in jail and tell her how much her little girl was loved and cared for. She breaks down in tears saying how thankful she was that we were there for her baby and how sorry she was that she wasn't. I really feel bad for her. She doesn't blame us, but she is living with the fact that her choices killed her little girl. She told us she didn't mind us helping with the funeral arrangements and we had just as much right as her family did. This pissed off the supervisor, because she was trying to get us to back away from planning the funeral saying we were only thinking with our heart and not our heads. I felt a sense of peace after leaving and I'm glad we made the visit. I told her we baptized her baby and she was very grateful.

Anyway, the funeral will be on Friday. Viewing will be from 8-12 with service starting at noon. After making the arrangements, I finally got some of my apetite back and had my first meal since she passed away.

I am surviving now, but I know I will be a mess again Friday. I can't even call anyone to tell them the news. I can write about it, but I just can't say my little girl died.

28 Comments:

  • At 8:18 PM, Blogger Drew said…

    I am so incredibly sorry to hear about your lost of Princess. The world needs more loving foster moms like you - You are an incredible human being.

    I hope your foster child will find peace in heaven. Hugs.

     
  • At 8:45 PM, Blogger Baby Blues said…

    Be strong Dream Mommy. You're in my prayers.
    I've always admired your compassion and lovingkindness. Princess was very blessed to have you. She is now home and she's an angel who will always watch over you.

     
  • At 8:50 PM, Blogger Lil' Bit said…

    you & princess will be in my prayers.

     
  • At 8:56 PM, Blogger Kether said…

    I don't even know the trail of blogs I followed to land here on your page, but Its my first time here and I'm so sad for you. The world does need more foster moms like you. God bless you for fighting for Princess and being there and loving here.

     
  • At 9:08 PM, Blogger JUST A MOM said…

    It so sucks when you are the one who DOES all hte mommy things and the mom just sits back. I do understand where your compation comes in. I have been there but our little one ws still in the hospital and not in our care yet. Hang in there.

     
  • At 9:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am so so so sorry for your loss. You must be devastated and I don't know how you manage to have the strength to post. I wish you all the best and hope you and your family can get through this. Please take care, Nic.

     
  • At 11:44 PM, Blogger Isabel said…

    I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. It's a good thing that you were able to meet with Princess's mother and talk to her about your baby girl. I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel better right now: just know that many people grieve with you at this time.

     
  • At 1:25 AM, Anonymous Lori said…

    I'm just catching up and I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. Words fail but please know you're in my thoughts.

     
  • At 4:14 AM, Blogger Maggie said…

    I'm glad your visit with Princess' mother went well. And I'm so glad she realized you need to have a hand in planning the funeral. I can only imagine how hard this is, but know you have lots of people sending good wishes to help hold you up.

     
  • At 5:55 AM, Blogger Amanda said…

    I am so so happy to hear that your visit with the birthmom went well. I know that nothing can truly help, but that must have been at least a little comforting.

    You are a strong, strong woman. Your ability to reach out to her, even at your weakest moments is amazing and an inspiration.

     
  • At 6:08 AM, Blogger TeamWinks said…

    How can the loss of your child not lead you to act emotionally? It's part of the grieving and healing process. You have handled yourself with grace, dignity, and compassion. In my personal opinion, you are a phenomenal woman. I'm certain little Princess would have felt the same way. I'm here if you need me.

    Becky

     
  • At 6:37 AM, Blogger Heather said…

    If you need someone to make calls, I will help out.

    I'm still praying for you guys. She was blessed to have you.

     
  • At 6:57 AM, Blogger Julie said…

    So glad you made that visit to her mom- I am sure she IS grateful. I am still in shock and can't imagine how you feel. So many people are praying for you and I hope you can feel the love sent! Hang in there!

     
  • At 7:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thanks for having the courage to write at this terriable time. I am sure letting it out through writing will help you eventually be able to begin to heal. Our prayers are with you.

     
  • At 7:22 AM, Blogger soralis said…

    I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart breaks reading your posts, I can't imagine what you must be going through. I am glad the bio mom has allowed you to be involved.

    Take care

     
  • At 8:05 AM, Blogger Granny said…

    I don't know how you summoned up the strength to visit. It was brave and compassionate.

     
  • At 8:24 AM, Blogger Fostermama said…

    I'm so glad to hear you had some validation from mom. I'm sending you prayers of strength to make it through this time.

     
  • At 8:27 AM, Blogger GLouise said…

    I am so proud of you! The prayers continue...

     
  • At 9:24 AM, Blogger Nico said…

    Came here from In Due Time. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking for you and your family. I will pray for you and Princess.

     
  • At 10:54 AM, Blogger Tamara said…

    You've done so many things right, and handled yourself with grace. I pray Friday is exactly as you would have it.

     
  • At 6:25 PM, Anonymous Jen said…

    I am so sorry for your loss. I just recently found your blog and have been hoping that all your love and effort would help Princess. I'm so sorry this happened.

    I hope you find peace in the coming weeks and months.

     
  • At 9:16 PM, Blogger Dramalish said…

    Praying for you and your family. Asking God to grant you comfort and peace.
    -D.

     
  • At 10:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am very sorry for your loss. I got here from a prayer request on another website and I must tell you...don't give up.
    I am 31 been with my husband for 14 years and couldn't get pregnant. I did the temp charts, the predicter kits, clomed, shots...you name it I did it. I now have a 6yr. old (boy) from my 3rd IUI try and I started right back to have another one right away....4years later I had twins (boys) after 3 IUI's and 3 IVF's and the one that worked was suppose to be not a good cycle (poor quality) is what they called it. Well, 15 months after the twins to my surprise (when I thought I was done) I found out I was 3 months along with my miracle baby daughter.
    Don't give up, now you have Princess on your side up there.

     
  • At 10:44 AM, Blogger Tamara said…

    ...just wanted to say that I was thinking about you as you are at the funeral today. May God's grace and peace surround you. May you find hope in the midst of loss. I pray the Lord just wraps His arms around you and that you feel His presence today especially. Hugs - Tam

     
  • At 11:30 AM, Blogger Amanda said…

    Just wanted to know that I was thinking of you today.

    So sorry.

     
  • At 1:32 PM, Blogger Well-heeled mom said…

    Thinking of you today, Friday. I am so sorry for what you are going through.

     
  • At 2:05 PM, Blogger GLouise said…

    I am thinking of you today sweet Lisa...Praying that you were able to get through the service...that you and your husband will be able to bring each other comfort during this awful time....

     
  • At 2:28 PM, Blogger toastnjam said…

    Thinking of you today...

     

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