Torn

One of the hardest parts about having a baby in the NICU and another at home is choosing between the two. Everyone is telling me Smiley has to come first since he's recovering from surgery. What about Princess? She had surgery the same day!

My heart hurts not being able to get to the hospital to see her. Does she think Mommy and Daddy abandoned her after surgery? I know she doesn' t understand that we are caring for her big brother right now, since we know she has her own full time nurse at the hospital caring for her. I know it's not the same though and I believe us being there will help her recovery.

I've been fighting back tears all weekend because I miss her so bad, but I cannot just leave Smiley either. How do you choose? I pray she gets to come home this week and I can be there for both of them.