Baby Book

Tomorrow is the day! I can't believe it! After all the red tape, he is ours tomorrow! We sign papers tomorrow saying that we're responsible for him and all that good stuff. Now we just love him as much as we can and pray to keep him.

I started this blog to serve as a baby book. Since conceiving didn't come easily to me, I wanted to document my journey to become a mommy. Most baby books start when the baby is born, but thanks to blogging, mine will start from the time my baby was wanted. I want my baby to know he was loved long before I met him.

I think I will start writing letters to baby N soon. I had intended to do that with the start of my blog, but I couldn't get past the pain to write. I want to document all his milestones, all the crap I went through to get him, and how many people loved and cared for him so much in his first months of life, his mommy, foster mommy, social worker, and us.

I'm not sure I want to turn this into a parenting blog, because I do not yet feel like I have crossed over to the other side. I still long to get pregnant, although the pain has eased tremendously. I still fear losing baby N. The best thing to do is step up and be his mommy. I'm just gonna love him to pieces and pray he will be my forever son.