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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Baby

Here's the story again so you won't have to go back into my achives:

December of last year, L's friend was asked to foster a 3 week old baby boy. He didn't want a baby but gave the social worker our name, and we were going to try to have them take the baby a couple weeks, while we got temporary certification until we finished MAPP. Well, they couldn't do it that way, but it did get us on the road to adoption with the state. We will call him baby N, since I now know his name.

L's friend spoke with his social worker and the state is already pushing for TPR(termination of parental rights). Baby N is in a foster home, but they are not able to adopt, only foster. Since he is going to be free for adoption, they are looking for an adoptive resource home.

Of course all good news comes with its share of problems. Baby N has a cleft lip and palette(which isn't too bad), a heart murmur (which is improving), a feeding tube(until the cleft palette is repaired), and he may have some mental retardation. He will need 5 operations in the next year to repair the cleft lip and palatte, but after that he should be healthy.

I rattled off his list of problems to L and said maybe we should keep waiting. Later in the afternoon L calls back and says the social worker told us we could have baby N come visit us for the weekend before we commit. Since he is only 5 months old, I figure it can't hurt him emotionally if we decide we can't meet his needs.

So that is our plan. We are going to try and keep baby N for a weekend and experience first hand how he needs to be cared for and if we can realisticly care for him. L is thinking he is probably not as bad as they make him sound because they usually give you all the bad stuff up front. He's also had friends adopt from the state and they told them the kids would be mentally impaired but turned out fine.

I think of it this way, had we taken baby N at 3 weeks and were later made aware of all these problems, we wouldn't have sent him back. I am praying about it and I am going to approach the visit (if it happens) as babysitting and go from there.

Is it only a coincidence that baby N has come back in the picture? Unless the foster parent wanted to keep it, or they had an adoptive mom who could stay home, I don't think a weekend visit will hurt?

What do you think?

Oh, about the house, L called and they were busy yesterday so we have to call back today. I hope they aren't giving us the run around.

10 Comments:

  • At 10:30 AM, Blogger Lut C. said…

    That sounds exciting, go for it!

     
  • At 12:23 PM, Blogger Fertility Faux Pas said…

    I think this sounds like a wonderful opportunity. Good luck!

     
  • At 1:46 PM, Blogger Ornery said…

    It's so hard to know what to do when the baby is just a description of medical needs, so spending the weekend with him sounds like a great idea.

    Also, great news about finding the perfect house! I really hope it works out for you and L!

     
  • At 3:46 PM, Blogger GLouise said…

    Wow! Great news to have the oppty to spend the weekend with the baby. Keep us posted!

     
  • At 4:50 PM, Blogger Dream Mommy said…

    Well, the social worker has to get permission from her supervisors, and if they say its ok, then we first make visits to baby N at the foster mom's house. She will go over everything with me and his needs, etc.

    After a couple visits, then baby N can come home with us for a couple days, then permanently if we think we can take care of him.

     
  • At 5:49 PM, Blogger Maya said…

    I hope you are given the wisdom to make the right decision. It sounds like your a wonderful couple. Everyone wants to give you children. :)

     
  • At 7:39 PM, Blogger Just another Jenny said…

    I think it is very smart of you to do a trial run. Best of luck. It sounds like you and L have a very loving and accepting home.

     
  • At 7:20 AM, Blogger Michelle said…

    It sounds like an excellent opportunity!! Cleft lip & palates are normally easily repaired. Doctors normally wait until the child is at least 20 lbs before fixing the palate. I dont understand why at 5 months old his lip is not fixed yet? They normally fix the lip a few months after birth...I have a childrens magazine that specializes in toys/products for delayed/medically needy children and there is a special bottle made just for kids with cleft palates--i can scan it and email it to you if you like? If you have any medical questions let me know--I am a pediatric nurse...Good luck to you---
    Michelle
    My Chosen Child

     
  • At 8:50 AM, Blogger Tamara said…

    Oh the visit sounds just wonderful. I pray that God guides your hearts and minds in what is best for you all as well as the baby. But yes, none of the "laundry list" sounds too bad to work through. Can't wait to hear about how it goes!

     
  • At 10:01 AM, Blogger Dream Mommy said…

    Michelle,

    He has had one surgery already, but they said it was pretty bad, so they would do several surgeries and get a little done each surgery until he was fixed. I will definately come to you when I have questions, Thanks.

     

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