Snuggle Time
Yesterday was a LONG day! Left the house before 7am and got home after 9pm.
We had a meeting with the lifeteen for church last night. On my way back from the gym, I received a call for the youth pastor saying the meeting was moved to his house, with his 3-yr old boy (and pg wife)! Don't get me wrong, they are very nice, and I'm glad they don't have to suffer the way I am, but it's still hard (although I went, hoping to somehow "catch" the pregnancy disease).
Later in the meeting, it was his son's bedtime and he wanted his daddy to snuggle with him before bedtime. I'm fighting tears at this time, but keep my cool. It got worse. This apparently started at least a 20 minute conversation about everyone's kids and snuggle time and how some of their kids don't let them snuggle. Anyway, you get the idea.
I thought I was gonna burst into tears right there! I have not shared our issues with them. I know they would probably be sympathetic, but they would not understand. I almost had to walk out of the meeting, but I didn't want to make a scene. I don't need them to waste there time saying "poor Lisa." That would be selfish, because we're there for the kids, not me. I may eventually share later if we have a social just for us.
Please pray for me. This ministry is becoming very difficult and breaking my heart a lot. I must push on. For the kids. I'm still young, but I think I've experienced some things they can learn from. Pray for strength for me to stick with it, because I'm real close to quitting.
We had a meeting with the lifeteen for church last night. On my way back from the gym, I received a call for the youth pastor saying the meeting was moved to his house, with his 3-yr old boy (and pg wife)! Don't get me wrong, they are very nice, and I'm glad they don't have to suffer the way I am, but it's still hard (although I went, hoping to somehow "catch" the pregnancy disease).
Later in the meeting, it was his son's bedtime and he wanted his daddy to snuggle with him before bedtime. I'm fighting tears at this time, but keep my cool. It got worse. This apparently started at least a 20 minute conversation about everyone's kids and snuggle time and how some of their kids don't let them snuggle. Anyway, you get the idea.
I thought I was gonna burst into tears right there! I have not shared our issues with them. I know they would probably be sympathetic, but they would not understand. I almost had to walk out of the meeting, but I didn't want to make a scene. I don't need them to waste there time saying "poor Lisa." That would be selfish, because we're there for the kids, not me. I may eventually share later if we have a social just for us.
Please pray for me. This ministry is becoming very difficult and breaking my heart a lot. I must push on. For the kids. I'm still young, but I think I've experienced some things they can learn from. Pray for strength for me to stick with it, because I'm real close to quitting.
posted by Lisa @ 5:47 AM
2 Comments:
At 5:46 PM,
x said…
Hi - I am new to blogging and IVF, just found your blog. I can relate 100%. We have a new pastor that we love but his adorable 3yr old son and pg wife bring tears to my eye's as he beems at them throughout the service.
Don't quit though, that won't help - it will only make you feel more alone. There is nothing we can do to avoid pg. I was listening to a rock station on the way home and announced that the lead singer of The FooFighters is expecting a baby. It is everywhere you go.
It may be good just to talk to your pastor in confidence. Depends on your relationship though.
Good luck on baby making in 2006. We are doing our first IVF in the spring.
At 6:14 PM,
Lisa said…
no way! your pastor has a 3yr old son and expectant wife too!!
Post a Comment
<< Home