Relaxed

I'm happy to report that I've had a good week. I haven't had a major breakdown in a couple weeks and infertility hasn't completely consumed my mind as it does sometimes. I am praying to remain this way through the rest of my treatment.

God is answering my prayers. Not the way I want, but the way He wants. I am attempting to put it all in His hands but find myself saying, "Lord, I put this in your hands, but you're gonna give me children eventually right?" I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am trying to surrender to His plan and hope that being a mommy is in there somewhere. I don't know what He has planned, but I feel like I was made to be a mommy.

Although still childless and not pregnant, I feel God is helping me to cope with this issue. I haven't accepted it, but the pain has eased somewhat(though not completely gone). I haven't been whining to my husband as much, and I enjoy babysitting, rather than just being envious. Maybe my mind is just pre-occupied with Christmas. Whatever the reason, I'm greatful for the relief of some of the pain, however temporary it may be. I pray I make it through the next couple months.