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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Worst things part 2

I forgot to mention a few other things that are REALLY bad to say. I can't believe I forgot them, especially since they are extremely hurtful:

1. Maybe it's not in the cards for you to have children--What??? I've heard this from a friend and my MIL! This is a horrible thing to say. If it's not in the cards, then why did I choose to be a mother for my kindergarden play called "when I grow up" while everyone else wanted to be dancers and doctors.

2. You can have my kids, they're driving me crazy--Really? That's supposed to make me feel better? I know they don't really understand, but it really hurts.

It's getting a little tough on me because I'm Catholic and just started getting involved with high school CCD. I think I'm the only one out of 12 of us without kids. It's hard being around all these fertile people. I so much want to share my feelings and have some people praying for us, but I don't want to be selfish and take the attention away from the kids.

After every failed cycle I keep praying and praying. I get angry and sad, but I try to keep my faith strong. Am I being punished for using birth control? I'm spending these hard times trying to keep close to God. I keep remembering the footprints in the sand poem. For the last year and a half, there has been one set of footprints in my sand. I know Jesus has been carrying during these tough times.


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