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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Long Term

Smiley and Bubbles caseworker called today because she was having difficulty getting the anesthesia consents from the hospital(big surprise there) and I asked her when Bubbles next court date was. She said it was in September! I thought there was another hearing late this month or early next month.

That will make Bubbles almost a year old at that time and bio mom will either have popped or being very close at the next hearing. I was kinda hoping for a review hearing a lot sooner so I can determine the status of her case. It will be pure torture for me to let her go after having her 6 months!

I guess I have to think of it like Princess. It's better to have the time I have with her than to have gone a lifetime never knowing her. Maybe at the visit tomorrow and meeting her mom I'll get some hints as to whether or not she will return home safely.

I know being a foster parent, I'm supposed to support reunification, but I have a hard time doing this since this is her 2nd time in care!

Do you think parents should be given a chance to work a case plan if the kids are taken back into care for a second time? I don't. I'm gonna hear it in my comments for this, but I don't. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit, especially when you're offered to keep your baby if you move in a group home where you and your baby can live in a safe environment and mom can finish her education.

What do you think? Do you think TPR should be automatic if it's the child's second time in foster care?


  • At 10:57 AM, Blogger Julie said…

    I tend to agree with you- but I would add- if you have had other children TPRd - not just one- but like 4! That should be an automatic TPR too. They obviously don't want out opinion though. :(

  • At 11:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I agree with you! I have to go to work so I can't write a more detailed explanation, but just so you know, I agree!


  • At 11:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Well, it is of course dangerous to make automatics, in the rare case that a Really Good Reason for the second intervention was needed, but it makes sense for me to at least have the *default presumption* be that the second time is permanent, absent a Really Good Reason. The fact that she could have gone into a home and kept Bubbles with her, but chose not to, speaks VOLUMES to me about her concern or lack of it for Bubbles. I mean, maybe the group home is a pain, is not what you wanted, means you can't have a regular shag with your boyfriend du jour, whatever, but if you REALLY LOVE and care for your baby, and that is the only way to keep her, then by gosh get your hinney in the home already!!!!! SHEESH! I think *that* qualifies as a Really Good Reason to TPR her, quite honestly! What good parent would let that happen to their baby?? I'm going to be doing some serious praying for you and Bubbles (and Smiley too) the next few months, cause from what I've heard and read on here, YOU show MUCH more care for Bubbles than her birth "mom".


  • At 11:52 AM, Blogger Tamara said…

    There HAS to be some limit - especially given all the deaths we see on the news of kids who has been in foster care numerous times and returned. Like Julie, I'm all for the prior TPRs counting for more - it's not just a clean slate to keep poppin' out the kids!

  • At 12:55 PM, Blogger JUST A MOM said…

    I am only going to say this,,,,,,,, I don't know abotu YOUR system but ours SUCKS!!! If you read my book you will see that in the end it took us 10 years to complete our severance and adoptin. Hang in there and YES you will give every one of them your all and let me tell you THEY WILL KEEP IT!!! I know this first hand.. I'll tell ya some day if you are intrested.

  • At 2:42 PM, Blogger Yondalla said…

    I suppose that it is because I work with teenagers that I would say no. Evan came into care the second time when he was 17. It would have made no sense do to a TPR.

    As children get older it is increasingly difficult for them to be adopted. A TPR means that they have no family. I would not support any automatic TPR guideline. The courts need the flexibility to respond to all the different struggles that families face.

  • At 4:43 PM, Blogger Maggie said…

    I don't think it could ever be automatic. That's far too hard and fast and doesn't account for extenuating circumstances. However, I agree that in some cases reunification is tried far too many times. One of the children whose profiles I reviewed will be in my mind forever. His needs were far too great for me to parent. But I wonder what he would be like if he hadn't gone through what his b-mom, her boyfriend, and the system put him through. He was reunited with his b-mom 9 times over the course of six years. 9 times. Every time she neglected him, every time her boyfriend sexually abused him. Over and over and over. And the courts kept sending him back to her. Finally, after 6 years, TPR was achieved. I know that's not a typical situation. But I will always think of him when I think of reunification. Often reunification works and it's a wonderful thing for the b-parents and the children. But I do think our system gives reunification too many chances sometimes.

  • At 5:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I tend to think if they are waiting that long to have a court date they will be going for TRP. If they are working on reunification they usually have court more often to keep track of progress to reunite sooner.

  • At 5:26 PM, Blogger Kristen said…

    You know, I tend to agree with you. Enough is enough.

  • At 7:55 PM, Blogger Amanda said…

    I can't say all the time but I do think that it should be *way, way* harder for them to get them back the second time around. And I echo Julie as well, if you've had a child TPRd in the past and your circumstances are essentially the same then TPR should be automatic.

    I do believe that at the very least parents whose kids come into care more than once (or who have kids after one has been TRPd) should have to face the exact same homestudy and education requirements as foster parents do.

  • At 12:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    We adopted our baby straight from the hospital through supposed automatic TRP because of the case of his older brother. They still gave mom a reunification plan and visitation even though TRP was supposed to be automatic. So laws only work if the courts follow them. The discretion of the judge and all the red tape involved tends to drag cases on far too long.

  • At 7:36 AM, Blogger chris said…

    I think it depends on the situation, which unfortunately, means the state has to guess whether or not this parent is fit to keep the child. Most of the time, unfortunately, I think it turns out bad--for the kid. But I don't think you can really make something like this automatic. And from a constitutional standpoint, you'd have problems.

    Still, I'm guessing this young woman will lose her kid(s) eventually. It's all a matter of time, unless she gets help and gets her head together.

  • At 9:57 AM, Blogger Dream Mommy said…

    ok, maybe I don't mean automatic TPR, but if a kid comes into care a second time, the case plan should be TPR, with less time to get their act together since it isn't their first offense.

  • At 5:04 PM, Blogger Kathy said…

    The more I learn about the foster care system, the more upset I get!

    I agree that the wait for TPR should be a lot less time, and that on the second time the child goes into foster care TPR should definitely be a must!

    Most of these bp never get their lives together, and they just continue the cycle of abuse and neglect. The children suffer, many for years and years, all because of the "Parental Rights". It's ridiculous! The CHILDREN'S rights need to be put first!!

    I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but it just irks me at what goes on with the foster care system and the judicial system!


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