Aren't You Taking the Mama?
We had a lovely evening at social services yesterday. While we were attempting to work with Smiley and his speech therapist, the supervisor interrupted us with the following conversation:
Supervisor: So, has anything changed regarding her?
Me: Changed, I guess not.
Supervisor: Didn't ya'll say you were gonna take Bubbles' mother too?
Me: (thinking HELL NO!)No...this is the first I heard of this.
Supervisor: Ok, just wanted to check. CASA supervisor told the judge that she had talked to ya'll and that ya'll were willing to take the mom.
Me: Didn't she not want to go to the group home to be with her?
Supervisor: No, not the group home.
L: We'll take the sibling if you need us too, but if you insist on keeping them together, you can come get her.
Anyway we basically said HELL NO as politely as possible.
Are they out of their F*cking minds??
How am I supposed to be able to establish any control over a teenager(18 in a few months anyway) who has a 28 yr old b/f(baby's daddy)with a police record a mile long pregnant again, and has a serious attitude problem?
What makes them think she would even agree to come live with us, and follow our rules when she's living on her own with her own now and free to do what she wants?
Caseworker apparantly told bio parents what daycare she went to, and they live very close to us. What the hell was she thinking? Not that they couldn't figure it out on the own, but that's nuts.
I really went to meet Bubbles' mom with a good attitude trying to be as nice as I could.
What do I think of Bubbles' mom/family? I'd feel safer seeing Smiley go home than Bubbles! That's scary. I pray that Bubbles does not have to go home to ANYONE I met yesterday. If she has to go home, I pray it's with a good relative that I haven't met that is stable.
I'm really scared for Bubbles. Must put her in God's hands. Still think Princess sent her though.
Supervisor: So, has anything changed regarding her?
Me: Changed, I guess not.
Supervisor: Didn't ya'll say you were gonna take Bubbles' mother too?
Me: (thinking HELL NO!)No...this is the first I heard of this.
Supervisor: Ok, just wanted to check. CASA supervisor told the judge that she had talked to ya'll and that ya'll were willing to take the mom.
Me: Didn't she not want to go to the group home to be with her?
Supervisor: No, not the group home.
L: We'll take the sibling if you need us too, but if you insist on keeping them together, you can come get her.
Anyway we basically said HELL NO as politely as possible.
Are they out of their F*cking minds??
How am I supposed to be able to establish any control over a teenager(18 in a few months anyway) who has a 28 yr old b/f(baby's daddy)with a police record a mile long pregnant again, and has a serious attitude problem?
What makes them think she would even agree to come live with us, and follow our rules when she's living on her own with her own now and free to do what she wants?
Caseworker apparantly told bio parents what daycare she went to, and they live very close to us. What the hell was she thinking? Not that they couldn't figure it out on the own, but that's nuts.
I really went to meet Bubbles' mom with a good attitude trying to be as nice as I could.
What do I think of Bubbles' mom/family? I'd feel safer seeing Smiley go home than Bubbles! That's scary. I pray that Bubbles does not have to go home to ANYONE I met yesterday. If she has to go home, I pray it's with a good relative that I haven't met that is stable.
I'm really scared for Bubbles. Must put her in God's hands. Still think Princess sent her though.
posted by Lisa @ 6:04 AM
15 Comments:
At 7:06 AM,
Julie said…
That is crazy to think you could take the mom too- CRAZY! I am glad you put your foot down on that. That poor girl! she doesn't have a chance if she goes with family- I pray that God keeps her safe! Hang in there.
At 7:48 AM,
"Ada" said…
My jaw's on the floor. Obviously I don't know anything about Bubble's background, but... What are they thinking? On the other hand, you guys handled it VERY well--a lot more tactful than I would have been. :)
At 8:23 AM,
happyadoptingmom said…
I am so sorry this has happened to you. I would make sure you remind your daycare not to give out any of your personal information.Like your last name or address. Praying for your safety and sanity. CW's can be so stupid sometimes. I pray everything turns out OK and you get more information on permanency soon.
At 8:28 AM,
Awesome Mom said…
Yikes! You were right to refuse the mom. There is so little that you could do with her and she would be more likely to be dangerous to the kids already in your home.
At 8:54 AM,
JUST A MOM said…
OH MAN,,,,, HANG IN THERE!!!!!
At 9:56 AM,
TeamWinks said…
Social workers never cease to amaze me. I'm not dogging them, but I've had some really bad luck lately with 'em.
I can't believe they would assume that. Good for you, for standing your ground.
At 10:16 AM,
Ken & Jordan Lukens said…
Horrible for them to assume you would take the mom too! ARGH!!! I can only imagine the horror that situation would cause!
I'm praying for you.
At 10:32 AM,
No Longer In Crisis said…
You GO girl! Um, HELLNAW is my response too. You're not a dumping ground for girls w/ too much attitude to go to a group home. Dad gum. Cookie's biomom was in foster care with her first child too - then she turned 18, got to move out AND keep her kid (whom she then abused for 6 years...we know how that turned out). Good for you for sticking up for yourselves. I think the only way biomom will wake up is NOT having her cake and eating it too - we are way too permissive if you ask me. So glad Bubbles is safe with you.
At 5:51 PM,
Queen of the House said…
Wow! Yeah, I'm glad you said no to taking Bubble's mom. WTH?? She refuses to go to a group home where she can stay with her baby, but they are trying to find a foster home for the two of them? DHS should have saw just how much that mom cared for her child when she refused the group home and opted that her child go into foster care. UGH, that just pisses me off!
At 5:53 PM,
GLouise said…
Good grief! What will they suggest next?!?
At 6:59 PM,
x said…
I don't really know my way around the foster system but the thought of you taking in an 18yr old while you are caring for her baby sounds insane to me - you aren't running a half way house. I hope that Princess continue's to watch over you and your babies.
At 6:59 PM,
Amanda said…
Yeah, I think mom made her choice already when she turned down the group home. I am really surprised they're still looking for an alternative placement for her...
At 7:40 PM,
Anonymous said…
OMG I think that cw has lost her ever loving mind to even suggest that you take the womb donor.I am so glad you both put your foot down on that! I just can not imagine what the system thinks they could possibly gain by placing the "donor" in you care with the baby! NUTS
At 11:22 AM,
sourpatchbaby said…
Who knows if the CW was the one to suggest that to biodonor. Maybe she knows that if she goes to a group home, she won't have the same liberties that she would if she was in a foster home. She might be smarter than we think. Smart enough to know that group homes have very established curfews and won't allow rooming in with boyfriend but knows how to break out of a house.. just not smart enough to actually want to keep her child in a safe environment. I'm going to pray that whatever happens, Bubbles and keyboard (it's a random word, it qualifies as name of the baby) are kept together and that TPR happens quickly.
At 9:33 AM,
Lisa said…
The thing is, she'll be 18 soon, and according to foster parent handbook, I'm not allow to have an adult share a room with a foster child, and I'm not allowed to have adults living with us that are not related, so by their own rules, I cannot.
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