Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker

You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Lord, Show me the Way

Baby N's social worker called this morning. He has an appointment with a genetics doctor tomorrow and said we could come if his mom decides not to. I told her there's no way I could get out of work, but please forward the results to me.

Please pray for baby N that he doesn't have any genetic problems or mental problems. He has enough on his plate and doesn't need anymore bad news.

Foster mom found a nurse in our area interesed in working with baby N. Social worker wants her to train with his current nurse and then come over to train us on his equipment.

I said I was putting baby N in God's hands, so that includes me being open to the placement if it's in His will. The big question is, "how will I know?" I'm not good at reading signs, although L encouraging me not to give up on the placement is a sign, right?

When I wrote my doubting post, I know it was mostly out of anger and frustration. I thought if I just "gave up" the idea of baby N, I could somehow move on and feel better. It worked for a whole 2 hours, til L came home that night, and was disappointed, to say it lightly, about my decision. Maybe it was God's way of saying that I don't get to make the decision of whether or not to accept the placement and that He will.

I'm nervous about the genetic results...Will they find more wrong with him? Will we find out things that we may not be able to handle? Will the results make us re-think the placement? At least I was a "good girl" and waited for the state to make the next move. I will let them make the calls from now on, and trust that God will lead me to the right decision for both us and baby N.

God,
Please guide me. I want to do Your will. Please let me know soon, for sure, if you want me to step up and parent baby N. If it is not Your will, I put it in Your hands to make sure the placement will only happen if You approve.
Amen

5 Comments:

  • At 12:28 PM, Blogger Tamara said…

    Sometimes really being able to submit to God's will is about "giving up". True release, (IMHO) feels like lying flat on the floor, sobbing, and saying to God "I give up". It's the best description of surrendering I have ever known. I never thought you gave up - I thought you truly surrendered. What that allowed God to do was work without interruption. I pray Baby N does not have any more health issues to deal with - bless his heart. I pray he find his family soon - if it is to be a part of yoru family, I pray God allows that to happen quickly. You are brave, and a real servant.

     
  • At 12:45 PM, Blogger Julie said…

    I agree- If Baby N is to be with you- God will lead you to know that- God will give you the voice to say YES bring him to me! if that is HIS will for all of you. It is so hard to lay down your will and pick up His. so hard to know what is what- Keep your eyes focused on Him- he will show you the way!

     
  • At 1:04 PM, Blogger soralis said…

    I wish you all the best! I don't really understand God's plan but I am quite sure it's there somewhere and someday it will make sense.

    Take care

     
  • At 3:43 PM, Blogger Ornery said…

    I'll be thinking of baby N tomorrow, and so, so hope the doctor does not find any genetic abnormalities.

    The signs will eventually become clear to you, I'm sure of it. Until then, just continue doing what you're doing...putting your trust in your faith and listening to your heart.

     
  • At 4:11 PM, Blogger Dream Mommy said…

    Thanks, I just hope God gives me a clear sign, since I can be stubborn most of the time.

     

Post a Comment

<< Home