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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Friday, April 07, 2006

We Don't Need Advice!

This is to all of our fertile loved ones. We know you mean well, and I write this knowing that your advice and suggestions come out of love. I know I've written about this before, but here are some suggestions on how you can REALLY help:

1. We don't need advice, we need SUPPORT.

We are competent adults. We KNOW all the options, have CONSIDERED all the options and have made an informed decision based on what's right for us.

2. We don't need to be informed of what COULD go wrong, we need your love and support if it does go wrong.

We are aware that infertility drugs may cause multiples so please don't tell us to be careful we don't have a "litter" of babies.

We know adoption is a long waiting process with a lot of red tape and we know the birthmother may change her mind.

We know that a foster placement may go home to their parents and will grieve for us, but rejoice if the mother has trully put her kids' needs before our own.

These well intentioned words of advice only bring back painful reminders that we already know are possiblities.

3. Don't tell us to be careful and make sure we can handle the child's needs, just love and accept the child and his/her imperfections.

We have prayed about the child, and trust that God has allowed the child into our home and that He will provide courage, strength, wisdom, patience, etc.

And, Finallly PLEASE:

4. Don't tell us we will get pregnant when we stop thinking about it.

If God sends us a miracle, it could happen. It will NOT happen simply because we are not thinking about it. Please understand that it doesn't mean we have given up, but please

I beg you.....

PLEASE. . . .



  • At 2:24 PM, Blogger seattlegal said…

    I second that!

  • At 9:47 AM, Anonymous Sam said…

    Glad I've never suggested any of those :)

  • At 10:11 AM, Blogger Just another Jenny said…

    well said! Relaxing is the worst, that always gets my back up.

  • At 11:43 AM, Blogger Maya said…

    Thanks for the list. I love lists. They simplify everything. Wow that's a lot of information to take in about Baby N. I am glad that you are getting full disclosure to make your decisions

  • At 8:36 PM, Blogger Nique said…

    Just wanted to let you know you have you and L have my support and prayers!

  • At 9:15 PM, Blogger Ornery said…

    I'm tempted to put this post on a t-shirt and wear it every time I hang around my fertile, well-intentioned, but ignorant friends and family!

  • At 9:25 AM, Blogger Tamara said…

    Can I add my "favorite": "I'm sure you'll get pregnant after you adopt!". Oh hell yeah, now THAT'S what I'm shooting for your ignoramous. Ugh. Some folks are just begging to be slapped. :)


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