Crazy Dreams

Well, I'm 13 weeks today, one trimester down, two to go. The last few nights I've been dreaming that I'm having triplets and waking up terrified. I keep waking and telling myself,"it's just two, it's just two." It sounds funny saying that there's only two babies. I never in a millon years imagined I'd get pregnant, then get pregnant again, then find out I'm expecting twins.

As exciting as it is, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I'm not so worried about adjusting to life with 2 newborns, an 18 month old, a 5 yr. old that is still developmentally a baby and a 4 yr. old. I know it is going to be rough for a while but I'm praying they will be good babies like Kyleigh, and I can get them into a sleeping routine in a couple months.

I do worry a bit about the medical aspect of twins. Two babies automatically puts the pregnancy high risk and I try not to even think about how we'd survive if I were to be put on bedrest. I cannot work with Nick and Larry has to, so praying everything runs smoothly like with Kyleigh. I'm also terrified of the babies arriving suddenly and not having time to get to my hospital, which is two hours away. The local hospital here is not equipped to handle twins.

I still feel crazy saying the word "twins" referring to myself. Although, I did have that "gut feeling", I'm not sure what caused it. I think it started after my 8 week appointment and they hadn't done an ultrasound yet, so I didn't have that confirmation that there was one baby. At 9 1/2 weeks, I thought I was hearing 2 heartbeats, but was in the wrong location and was hearing my own post. At 10 1/2 weeks, I definitely picked up a baby's heartbeat. It wasn't until a week later I was consistently finding heartbeats in different locastions, even marking both spots so I could go back and forth with the doppler probe to verify. Still,as I went in for my 12 week appointment, I was sure my doctor would offer a logical explanation that didn't include twins. It just seemed so unlikely that it would actually happen to me so when the doctor offered the NT ultrasound, I accepted, so I could see my babies.

As soon as the tech put the wand to my belly I saw both babies, but was still in disbelief, waiting for her to say out loud, "there's two babies." That wasn't mentioned until she was focusing in on one baby and Larry said, "Well at least there's just one in there" and she replied, "actually, there's two." I thought he was going to pass out from shock. I'd been warning him that I thought I heard two heartbeats, but he apparantly thought I was wrong. Anyway, just sat and watched in happy disbelief as she finished.

As for the family announcement, I had fun with my mom and sister and sent them the u/s pic on their phones showing both babies, then a picture of each individual baby. It was fun watching them trying to figure it out then saying, "yes, there are two babies."

So far, I've been spared the morning sickness, but I am much more exhausteed and irritible, and other than sitting home and caring for my kids, I don't have to energy to go anywhere or do anything else. Next Saturday is Kyleigh's first birthday party, so I'm hoping for a burst of energy, at least for that day.

Well, gotta run for now. The kids are into everything. Will try to keep updated as much as possible.