Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker

You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

One Year in Heaven

Please stop by thePalace. Wed, Feb. 13 will make one year our little one went to heaven. It's gonna be a rough week for everyone.

People just don't understand, I mean, in the real world.

My prayers go out to everyone who has lost children.

It just doesn't seem fair to have someone so precious, then have to say goodbye after only a short time. Most of our time spent with her was in the NICU, dragging a cranky 13 mo old and taking turns visiting, one at a time. We bring her home and about 3 short weeks later got the call she was no longer breathing. We spend hours holding her and saying goodbye. Then the worker makes arrangements to take her body to be buried with her family.

We were her family. We were the ones holding her hand while she looked desperately at us to get her out of there.

She was a VERY demanding baby. Maybe God sensed she was too much for us. Sometimes I feel like a failure. Sometimes I wonder if she was trying to tell us something. If only I'd known that before she got on that helicopter would be the last time I'd see her alive, I could have kissed her one more time. I just thought I'd see her again in a couple hours and we'd be in for another VERY LONG hospital stay.

Sometimes it seems the more I love someone, the more likely they are to be taken away, Princess, Bubbles, the baby girl I was so close to getting. I know God has given me the strength to survive but I've almost reached my limit.

I am posting early because Wed is going to be a very long day for me. I have school, faculty meeting, then a night class that I absolutely cannot miss.

I guess I'll make it through somehow. I have to.

23 Comments:

  • At 5:13 AM, Blogger qUeEn oF tHe cAstLe said…

    I would love to view the blog but it's private... my email is
    hut31999@aol.com if you'd like to share your Princess

     
  • At 7:57 AM, Blogger happyadoptingmom said…

    I am headed over ther but just wanted to post here. My prayers are with you all week.

     
  • At 8:59 AM, Blogger Lee said…

    Remembering Princess. And saying a prayer for you Dream Mommy.

     
  • At 9:51 AM, Blogger Julie said…

    Hurting for you in so many ways- hang in there this week- feel your feelings- and hold on to the ones you love and who love you. Praying for you all during this time.

    :)

     
  • At 10:19 AM, Blogger Amanda said…

    I'm so sorry, L. There really aren't words.

     
  • At 12:54 PM, Blogger Blue Ridge Living said…

    L

    I was the one who wrote "Princess' Story" for you last year. I think of her so very often.

    I do believe God will give you the desires of your heart. Your little girl may not even be born yet. Pray for her and her safe delivery to you.

    My heart was ripped out when my first daughter was returned to her bio mother. Little did I know that God had another plan. My forever daughter was born the day my first daughter left. Hang in there!

    We need to see new pics of Smiley!!

    xo

     
  • At 5:27 PM, Blogger *~JESSIE~* said…

    I'll be thinking of you and your family.

     
  • At 7:03 PM, Blogger Roni said…

    I would love to view the blog, but when I went there, it is private. If it is ok with you, can you send me the info I need to view it. Thanks
    My email is yepthatzme316@aol.com

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

     
  • At 7:20 PM, Blogger KrazyMom said…

    So sorry for the pain you are feeling. You are definately her family and she knew that! Life seems so unfair at times, yet we need to keep our faith in the Lord and anticipate brighter tomorrows in this master plan he has for each and everyone of us. You have been through so much heartache as a mother. I will be thinking of you on the 13th and your precious baby girl.

     
  • At 8:59 PM, Blogger AA said…

    It has been 9.5 years since my son died. He was 11.5 months old, perfect and healthy on day and 60 hours later, dead. Bacterial meningitis strikes like lightening.

    It does not seem like almost 10 years. Seriously, it seems like maybe a few, but not 10. However, I know what I was like when it was only a few and I am much more able to cope now.

    Still I think of him and talk about him every single day.

    My sympathies are with you. I am so very sorry for your loss.

     
  • At 10:22 PM, Blogger JUST A MOM said…

    I love hearing just how much she was loved..... hang onto knowing it was Gods will.

     
  • At 10:20 AM, Blogger Cookie's Mom said…

    We're holding you all close from afar during this very difficult time of remembrance. Princess had the very best life because she had it with you. What a miracle she was and still is.

     
  • At 3:04 PM, Blogger Dream Mommy said…

    blueridge

    Thanks for the story. I still have and treasure it. It was truly a gift from God.

     
  • At 3:47 PM, Blogger Happy Mama to Three said…

    You know that we are all praying for your peace and for your Princess. I will head over there now just wanted you to know that I was thinking of all of you and remembering her beautiful little face.

    Cindi

     
  • At 5:24 PM, Blogger Amanda said…

    I'm thinking of you all tonight. So sorry.

     
  • At 10:07 AM, Blogger Mixed Up Me said…

    Thinking of you . . .

     
  • At 10:15 AM, Blogger KrazyMom said…

    Thinking of you today.

     
  • At 1:07 PM, Blogger happyadoptingmom said…

    Praying for you today.

     
  • At 5:20 PM, Blogger Katherine said…

    Thinking and praying with you tonight.

     
  • At 9:07 AM, Blogger ~Mrs Sandy~ said…

    Just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am a foster mom and I know exactly how you are feeling right now...been there..done that and probably about to loose another little princess. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I wish you all the best.
    Sandy

     
  • At 3:44 PM, Blogger Runergirl said…

    So much fun to see you last weekend! Call if you need me:)

     
  • At 2:24 PM, Blogger Steph said…

    I hope you're doing ok since I'm just getting to this post and it's already been a week since you wrote it.
    I can't imagine, so just hoping you're ok..

     
  • At 4:04 PM, Blogger chris said…

    I'm sorry.

     

Post a Comment

<< Home