Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker

You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Thursday, December 28, 2006


Princess is sceduled for a consult with a pediatric surgeon about placing a g-tube. This will make surgery #3 in her 2 1/2 short months of life. Lucky for me, I know how to g-tube feed a baby, I even requested a certain locking type I want. I feel for Princess having another surgery. It will also make things a bit more difficult for us in finding a babysitter and it may cause day care issues.

The following may sound selfish, but this is my "diary" so I will not hide my feelings. I love Smiley and Princess, and everything about them being babies and the bonding baby stuff you do with them, but I very much missed out on bottle feeding. I miss the bonding of holding them, looking into your eyes as they eat. I know I'll never get to breastfeed, but bottle feeding is awesome too.

Now don't get me wrong, g-tube feeding can be a bonding experience too, but it's difficult to hold and feed your baby at the same time. As horrible as it sounds, relatives will be less likely to want Princess if she has a feeding tube,but I'm no longer afraid of it, so no problem for me. I would not even consider not taking Princess because of a g-tube, I was just secretly hoping I would be able to bottle feed her. I may...eventually, I just now know how difficult the transition from g-tube feeding to oral feeding can be. I pray that day care will be willing to learn to g-tube feed her as they seemed to be willing to learn for Smiley.

Another reason I need to be a stay at home mom right?

Ok, done being selfish. I was just wanting to be able to bottle feed like normal mommies! Bad Mommy I'm being!

On the bright side, g-tube feedings are quicker and more convenient most of the time. I am mostly upset that it will require another surgery and I pray she does not have to be put on the ventilator again.

I don't know why, but I want to cry. I guess I'll think of it as potty trained. One g-tube removed(Smiley's probably soon) and one more baby to teach to eat.

I will count my blessings. She is breathing on her own and her heart should be fine. Just a minor setback...


  • At 1:54 PM, Blogger Amanda said…

    I don't think this is selfish at all... I can certainly understand. I would imagine that g-tube feeding is a more "technical" procedure and it's harder to relax and enjoy it. I hope you get to bottle feed her one day.

    And if you don't mind, I'd love to see the pics : ladyjane1202atyahoodotcom

  • At 7:02 PM, Blogger Robin said…

    I completely understand. It's just that with infertility all of our previous dreams are stripped and replaced with a cold hard reality. It really sucks!!!!

    And as for someone who will watch your kids, just show me how to use the g-tube and I'll be right over!!!

  • At 8:34 PM, Blogger Awesome Mom said…

    Aww that is too bad but not unexpected. I hope that her G-tub is in and out very quickly. I messed around with an NG tube for far too long because I was scared of the G-tube but once it was placed things got so much better so fast and it was not even in a whole year. I hope that Princess will become a great eater just as quickly.

  • At 7:14 AM, Blogger Dream Mommy said…

    I know the g-tube is better and will get her home sooner. I just hope she catches on to eating quickly.

  • At 7:35 AM, Blogger Julie said…

    lisa- you are not being selfish- wanting to bond with your baby is not a selfish act as she will bond with you at the same time! It truly isn't a selfish desire- don't beat yourself up! Princess is very lucky to have you and L there to love her up! as well as Smiley! I am sure the g-tube isn't as fun as bottle feeding- for you or them- so it is okay to be sad about them having to have it. :) Hang in there!

  • At 8:09 AM, Blogger GLouise said…

    Of course you want Princess to be as healthy as possible. I would be a little concerned if you had written, "oh, I hope she needs a g-tube!" :-)


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