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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

The Harsh Reality

Why does bad things happen to such innocent babies?

Baby D was born with the skin condition, EB.

He caught CMV while mom was pregnant and his brain stopped growing at 29 weeks.

Head is very small.

Prognosis is not good. An infection from exposed skin could be fatal, but he could possibly survive into adulthood.

His nurse will email doctor about what kind of lifestyle he is expected to have. Will he be forever confined to a bed?

Here's the dilemma with baby D:

L and I would probably sacrifice ourselves for this baby...but what about baby N?

Baby D has to stay out of the sun and heat, and in Louisiana there is nothing but sun and heat.

If we go to the beach, would we have to exclude baby D, while bringing baby N?

Do we not do fun things at all and have baby N miss out because baby D could not come?

Baby N has 2-3 more surgeries. Who will watch baby D?

Is it fair to baby N to take another baby with such severe needs when he still has many medical needs?

Should I take baby D, then have to close my home and not be able to help other children?

If we don't take baby D, who will? What will happen to him?

L and I rode back to my mom's from New Orleans so upset, quiet, and near tears. I slipped up several times tonight referring to baby N by baby D's name. So upsetting.

I want to say yes, but we are not sure we can meet his needs along with baby N.

This is tearing me up inside. Please send prayers, not so much for me, but baby D.
His nurse wants to take him, but been through some tradegy since hurricane Katrina and cannot. I know God can work miracles, and a miracle I'd like to see would be Him working a plan for the nurse to take him.

Please pray God sends baby D a mommy and daddy, whether it's us, or someone else.

My heart hurts so much for him now.


  • At 10:07 PM, Blogger FosterAbba said…

    Although making huge sacrifices to take in another high-needs baby is very generous, I think you should instead focus on the child that you have. Taking in second child with such a poor prognosis isn't fair to your current child.

    G-d will provide someone to care for the other child. In the meantime, focus on the one you do have, and do all you can to make his life the best it can be.

  • At 9:24 AM, Blogger Babyblue said…

    It's a tough decision.
    I know your heart is big enough for both but sometimes there are other things to consider. It's a harsh reality. It would be difficult to divide your attention with two special children.
    Just remember, this is not about you but about them. What would be good for them?

    I pray that you to be enlightened with your decision.

    P.S. Tag... only if you have the time.

  • At 5:16 PM, Blogger Michelle said…

    I just wanted to let you know we are praying for you guys to make the decision that is right for you....Has sylvia gottne back to you yet?? take care and god bless....


  • At 6:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Prayers for baby D to find a forever home

  • At 1:10 AM, Blogger MamaKBear said…

    Prayers going out for BabyD...poor precious darling!

    Don't know about where you live, but one of the very first things we were taught in foster-parenting classes is to "Know your limits". Sometimes the best thing is not to take on the responsiblity of a child with a multitude of medical needs, either because of your own abilities to care for them, or because of other children in the home.

    My girls have a sister, who was born without the stem connecting the two brain halves, due to meth use by their mother while she was pregnant. DHS asked us several times if we could take her, and it wasn't an easy decision to say no, let me tell you! But the reality of it is that she has so many medical problems, that I just cannot give her the care that she needs constantly, and still be able to give my other two girls what they need also.

    Know. Your. Limits.

    Big hugs!

  • At 5:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh lord, this is such a dificult decision. I pray that God enlightens you and give you peace with whatever decision you come to. I also pray that baby D will leave the hospital straight to the home of his forever family.

  • At 6:02 AM, Blogger Dream Mommy said…


    Sylvia got back to me and told me to find out what type of EB he has and she'll put me in touch with a mom of a child with that type.

  • At 6:13 AM, Blogger Tamara said…

    Oh dear, I'm sending hugs and prayers. I'm glad you are thinking about N - he's going to be your son soon, and you have yet to learn all his future needs may be (though we pray they will be FEW), and you and L, and what you want for your family. Baby D's challenges are enormous - the more I read online about them, the more astonished I was. It is unreal - so awful. I know if you all say "no", there will still be a family for him. God won't let him be without a family.


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