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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Ultrasound

Smiley's mom has invited us to her 4D ultrasound in a couple weeks and said she would give us pictures. Do you think I should go? I really wish there was a way to work out an open adoption rather than seeing her fight with the foster care system again. Like I said before, her mental ability to care for a baby has not changed. It just depends on whether dad can care for it, get and keep a job, and maintain suitable housing. This was the same boyfriend who has been around since Smiley's birth. I'm really not "hoping" it will get taken, just preparing in case based on evidence of her past and the fact they have both barely been able to provide for themselves the past 3 years without grandma's assistance.

We're also seeing a new geneticist and starting over so we can get first hand information. Bio mom has been generous with pregnancy info on Smiley and willing to come along for testing. It may be a bit of a hassle, but at least the doctor would have as much info as possible. It's kinda nice that our relationship has improved since the adoption was finalized. I never thought I'd have an open adoption, but it's harder than you think to just pretend he doesn't have another mom, especially since she's no danger as long as she's not alone to do something negligent. I guess it's just easier now that contact and visitation is at my discretion and there is no more court dates to worry about.

10 Comments:

  • At 9:03 PM, Blogger happyadoptingmom said…

    I would go. She invited you and this will probably be your baby.

     
  • At 9:04 PM, Blogger r. said…

    Is the 4D ultrasound for fun/keepsake, or is it for medical reasons? I ask because in some places you can get them done at the mall and I'd think that would be a bad way to discover any abnormalities the baby might have. If it is being done at a doctor's office, and they're doing it because they suspect medical problems, does this mean you might be there if they have bad news for bio mom? I'm not sure how that would affect you one way or the other, but it's worth considering and preparing yourself just in case.

     
  • At 6:41 AM, Blogger Maddie's Mom said…

    I think that I would go. It does sound like there's a very good chance of this being your baby. I think it's good that she trusts you enough to invite you to the ultrasound.

     
  • At 6:44 AM, Blogger Amanda said…

    I would go. I wish you could arrange an adoption privately - it would be SO much easier. GOod luck however it turns out.

     
  • At 5:25 PM, Blogger DrSpouse said…

    I have heard that if you have already got an adoption home study done through the county you can adopt privately, though you'd have to pay the legal fees. Might be worth enquiring of a lawyer near to you?

     
  • At 7:37 PM, Blogger SD said…

    I think I would probably go to the US. She invited you, and it must mean something she would like you to be there. I think you can do a private adoption, but not sure how it works when you have a Mom who is mentally challenged. Maybe you could find out thru the County if placement and plans for a private adoption could be arranged? Or does it HAVE to go through the "system"? Good luck!!

     
  • At 12:46 PM, Blogger Jenny said…

    I think i would go...it is a cool experience and nice she invited you to be a part of it. Plus this is Smileys sibling so it willbe nice to have pictures from the 'beginning'! Good luck!

     
  • At 10:54 AM, Blogger Tamara said…

    Is there concern for Trisomy 13 again? I think I would go, if for no other reason then a show of support - but you also never know what you could learn from the visit. I'm really excited about the possibilities for you.

     
  • At 4:35 PM, Blogger Dream Mommy said…

    No, Smiley didn't have trisomy 13, thank God, cause he would be dead by now. He has an abnormality on chromosome 15, so does mom(but she doesn't know I know that about her). She said it cost $100, so I think this ultrasound is just for extra. I'm not sure where the money is coming from cause neither of them work and usually can't pay the bills. I'll have to try to convince L to go.

    I know she would not willingly do an open adoption. She doesn't understand that she cannot care for a baby, though it would save us both a lot of headache.

     
  • At 7:49 PM, Blogger Maddie's Mom said…

    I hope you get a chance to update us soon. We're thinking about you.

    I nominated you for an award. Stop by my blog to see.

    http://madisonmyangel.blogspot.com/

     

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