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You Could Always Adopt. . .

Adopted 3 boys out of foster care, then got pregnant for my beautiful daughter, now currently pregnant again with twins.

Thursday, May 03, 2007


Many of you have questioned, why don't I just quit and be a SAHM? Well, the biggest hurdle to that now is insurance, mainly health insurance. Health insurance is one of the very few benefits of my job.

After telling L again how much Smiley needs me home, because he needs so much more speech and occupational therapy, I feel like I'm neglecting him by working. Right now he gets to go once every other week, but if I were home, I could take him 2-3 times a week and he could catch up quicker. I feel extremely guilty and I absolutely HATE having to leave him at daycare. I wouldn't mind a couple hours a few days a week so he can interact with other kids, but not 40-50 hours a week!

L can add me to his health insurance but it's pretty expensive, but I think what I'd save in daycare(after Smiley's adoption) we could cover that. I could save gas, eating out, etc. After whining again last night, L said he'd call and look into an individual policy for me. I cannot be without health insurance due to my endo and family history of colon cancer.

For those of you who know anything about health insurance, I have questions...If you switch from a group to individual policy and do not lapse in coverage, will the individual policy deny coverage of pre-existing conditions? If pre-existing conditions do not matter, I could easily switch policies and be closer to being a SAHM.

The last few days have been extremely difficult on me. I hate getting out of bed in the morning. I remember when I was younger at daycare and I just wanted to hug my mom/dad forever before they left for work, not wanting to leave them. This is how I am with my babies. I just can't seem to give them enough hugs and kisses every morning before I drag myself to work.

I miss them. I think about them all day long, yet I'm forced to work to pay for insurance and it's not just health insurance. I bet most of us could be SAHM's if insurance didn't exist. Think of what we pay in homeowner's, health, auto insurance, etc and imagine how much extra money you'd have without having to pay it.

In the meantime, my baby's mama's get to sit on their ass all day and get free food, formula, and health care insurance provided by the government!

So hear I am at work, for health insurance, because I may consider having another lap soon.

I miss my babies, sniff sniff...


  • At 11:39 AM, Blogger toastnjam said…

    I'm so sorry about missing your babies. I think I would miss mine too.
    I hope that you are able to get health insurance and everything works out so that you can stay home.

  • At 11:55 AM, Blogger FosterAbba said…

    Does your husband not have insurance through his work? He should be able to add you to his policy at work for less expense than what an individual policy would cost, and he should be able to add you as soon as you have a "qualifying event" (aka quitting your job) with your current insurance.

    Worst case, you could always continue your existing insurance through COBRA for up to 18 months.

    As for excluding coverage for pre-existing conditions, I think insurance companies are only allowed to do that if you have had a lapse in coverage. If you are continually covered, I think they are stuck.

  • At 12:25 PM, Blogger Amanda said…

    I think fosterabba's right re: preexisting conditions - we actually added my DH to my health insurance while he was being treated for recurrent seizures and there were no gaps.

    I get the whole insurance thing tough. If DH didn't have free insurance through his work, I think he would be a SAHD by now.


  • At 12:41 PM, Blogger Katherine said…

    Generally its cheaper to add to an existing policy than to get a separate policy - at least for equivalent coverage.
    What happens when you finally can adopt - does he go on your insurance or does he continue with Medicaid (I'm assuming that's what's covering him now)?
    Can Smiley not get more speech by the therapist visiting him at daycare?

  • At 12:53 PM, Blogger Dream Mommy said…

    L had an individual policy for under $100 which had a high deductible, but still way cheaper than if I would have put him on my insurance. He had surgery and it covered well after the deductible.

  • At 2:34 PM, Blogger happyadoptingmom said…

    I know when my dh switched jobs we had a 6 month wait before preexisting conditions were covered. I do not know if that is everywhere but that is how ours worked.

  • At 5:05 PM, Blogger GLouise said…

    It is definitely worth exploring your insurance options with your husband's employer.

    I agree that insurance IS such a pain! Medical insurance is a relatively "new" concept...I don't think our grandparents had it when they were our age. And it definitely seems to have driven up the cost of medical care in our country, in my opinion.

    One book I would recommend if you are considering switching over to being a one income family is called "Miserly Moms." The biggest area of "flexibility" in our monthly budgets is in the food budget, so that is the main focus of the book :-)

  • At 7:35 PM, Blogger Awesome Mom said…

    You are right about insurance hindering moms staying at home. We are lucky enough that the military gives such good insurance so that I am able to stay at home. It really does help since Evan has so many appointments that can only happen during the day time. Good luck figuring out your insurance options.

  • At 8:01 AM, Blogger Tamara said…

    I do agree that I'm in the minority not desiring to be a WAHM. Just keeping up with Cookie an entire day is exhausting - a joy, but exhausting. We are fortunate that Kinder Care is accredited, and that they have a curriculum they follow, and that Cookie absolutely flourishes. We are also blessed that the director of that location is a foster mom, and Cookie's teacher is a foster mom, and other teachers are adoptive and foster moms. Like I said, we are just extremely fortunate. Were it not so terrific, I'm sure I would feel worse about working. I don't care for my job, but I would miss the intellectual stimulation (although I'm sure I could find some elsewhere if I worked at it. At any rate, I hope you are able to find a way to make the lifestyle you want happen for you. I know you need to get Smiley to more therapy aptmts, so that would be excellent too. Will they not come work with him at the daycare? Just curious.

  • At 10:08 AM, Blogger Dream Mommy said…


    He needs more than what early steps can give at home/daycare, plus occupational therapy is not available to come to the house. We live in a small town and have to travel with him to get the care he needs. I love the daycare and what he learns, but hate having to leave him for so long.

    Smiley will continue on medicaid, but I'd like to have him on private insurance too as a backup, since it doesn't cover medical care out of state.

  • At 5:33 PM, Blogger -gwyn said…

    Dream Mommy--
    I do payroll and benefits. I have talked extensively to my insurance rep and here is what little advice I can offer you.

    When you go to work for a company their group insurance benefits must accept your pre-existing conditions bassed on their policy. This can be immediately, after six months, or after a year, but they cannot exclude them forever. If you leave your work and get an individual policy, depending on the insurance company, they can exclude preexisting conditions forever if they want. That by no means says that all companies will do so. The difference is the premium price. It is quite often that if you have not had a flare up of whatever your pre-existing is in the past 12 months they will not exclude it, or make you wait a year.

    Is that clear as mud? Feel free to email me if you want.

  • At 10:45 PM, Blogger JUST A MOM said…

    Hang in there , dosn't the state go into the daycare for theropy????? it should. Because then teh state is NOT broviding the child with his needs.

  • At 7:18 AM, Blogger sue said…

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